badly_knitted: (Dee & Ryo black & white)
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Title: Erratic
Fandom: FAKE
Author: [personal profile] badly_knitted 
Characters: Dee, Ryo
Rating: PG
Setting: Vol. 5, Act 14.
Summary: Dee believes Ryo is suffering from PTSD caused by his parents’ brutal murder.
Word Count: 637
Written For: Prompt #423: PTSD at [community profile] slashthedrabble .
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
A/N: Extended version of the ficlet I posted for the challenge.




Dee somehow doubted that Ryo would agree with his assessment, but he was pretty sure his partner had PTSD. What else could explain his erratic behaviour over the whole Leo Grant thing?


Grant and a handful of his associates had been responsible for the deaths of Ryo’s parents when he was just eighteen, and even though Ryo hadn’t been present to witness the senseless brutality of that horrific event, he had seen his father’s body at the morgue afterwards, riddled with so many bullet holes he’d been barely recognisable. That wasn’t the kind of thing any sane human being could just shrug off and get over.


Dee now knew that finding out the truth about why his parents had been slaughtered in that manner had been Ryo’s primary motivation for becoming a cop. He also knew that knowing the truth could often be far more painful than living in blissful ignorance, but the damage had been done. Ryo had listened in on Grant and one of the other men involved discussing that day, and what he’d heard had all but shattered him.


A mistake, it had all been a mistake; they’d killed the wrong people, and learning that had pushed Ryo over the edge. Half crazed with a combination of anguish and blind rage, he’d pulled his gun on the unarmed Grant. He hadn’t fired though, hadn’t been able to pull the trigger and commit cold-blooded murder despite aching to take revenge on the man who’d wrecked his life.


After Grant had left, Dee had held Ryo as he’d cried, slumped on the cold concrete beneath a leaden sky pouring rain down to soak them both down to the bone. Ryo had been sobbing brokenly, railing about his inability to avenge his parents, and it had torn Dee apart to listen, but eventually he’d worn himself out and Dee had taken his partner home with him to get dry and warm, thinking it best not to leave him alone.


That was when Ryo had started acting really freaky, kissing Dee, practically propositioning him, offering his body for him to use in any way he wanted. It had been scary seeing someone he knew so well, someone who always had his head on straight no matter what, behaving so out of character. Ryo hadn’t even been able to look at him, and maybe that was just as well because it meant he hadn’t seen the shock on Dee’s face.


Under other circumstances, Dee would have welcomed such advances. Lord knew he wanted Ryo so badly that it hurt. Whether they were together or apart, he felt a constant aching need for him, but no way was he going to take what he wanted when Ryo was so completely out of his head. It would have destroyed their friendship along with any possibility of a relationship between them that might exist. Even so, rejecting his advances, slapping him across the face, had been one of the hardest things Dee had ever had to do, made worse by the knowledge that he might just be throwing away his only chance to be with the man of his dreams.


It wouldn’t have been right though. He needed Ryo to want him for the right reasons, not because he thought he had nothing left to lose. Had to be PTSD of some sort, because it sure as hell wasn’t like Ryo to behave that way. It changed nothing though; not the way he felt about Ryo, his respect for his partner, or anything else, because he loved the guy so damned much and was bound and determined to be there for him, no matter what. He would help his partner through this if it killed him, and lying awake as Ryo slept beside him, Dee thought it might just come to that.



The End






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