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badly_knitted) wrote2025-05-30 06:38 pm
badly_knitted) wrote2025-05-30 06:38 pm
Entry tags:
FAKE Ficlet: Lying To Himself
Title: Lying To Himself
Fandom: FAKE
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ryo, Dee.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 623
Setting: Before and during the manga.
Summary: Deep down, Ryo has always known he isn’t really attracted to girls, but he’s been living the lie for so long, it’s hard to be honest with himself.
Written For: The prompt ‘Any, any, living a lie,’ at
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threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
The worst of it is that deep down, Ryo knows that by dating girls and letting everyone believe he’s straight, he’s living a lie. He’s been doing that, keeping the truth about himself hidden, ever since his early teens, when he first realised that he didn’t feel the same attraction towards girls as his friends did. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, a lot of guys his age probably do the same thing, but he’s done such a good job of self-deception that most of the time, he almost believes the lie himself. He’s convincing enough that his girlfriends don’t seem aware that while he likes them well enough as people, the physical attraction simply isn’t there.
As he gets older, joins the police academy, graduates, dons the uniform, and becomes a rookie police officer, the dating falls by the wayside a bit. He’s too busy with his new job, learning the ropes from his training officer, trying to memorise the vast amount of information that he’ll need to know by heart before he can move forward as a fully-fledged member of the NYPD. It’s months before he realises that he doesn’t even miss dating, although by the end of his rookie year, when the pressures of work ease up just a little, he decides he should make an effort, if only to avoid standing out from his fellow cops as being different.
None of his relationships last for very long though, a few weeks, maybe two or three months at best, and he puts that down to his job, the long hours, the irregular shifts that make it difficult to find time for romance… Anyone who isn’t a cop themselves can’t really understand the demands of the job, and anyone who IS a cop is in the same position as he is, trying to juggle shifts to make time for a personal life.
And then, a few years into his career in law enforcement, he takes his detective’s exam, passes with high marks, gets assigned to a new precinct, the two-seven, and meets his new partner. Dee Laytner is tall, black-haired, green eyed, confident in his bisexuality, and the lie Ryo has been living for so long starts to fall apart even as he tries to cling to it, telling Dee that he’s not interested, that he’s straight… He’s been lying to everyone, even himself, for so long now that he can’t stop, he’s too afraid of what will happen if he lets himself give in to the desires he’s repressed for his whole adult life.
But Dee won’t give up, keeps pushing at the walls Ryo’s built around himself, pouncing on him every chance he gets, kissing him… Why does Dee have to be so insistent? Why can’t he simply accept what Ryo keeps telling him? Why is his partner so fixated on him? Ryo knows he’s nothing remarkable, just an ordinary guy, not the kind of person to inspire such single-minded pursuit.
Then again, Dee is the kind of guy who’s probably used to having anyone he’s interested in practically throw themselves at him. Having someone resisting his attempts at seduction must be a new experience, but Ryo has no intention of becoming nothing more than another notch on his partner’s bedpost.
At least, that’s what Ryo keeps telling himself, even as Dee keeps chipping away at his defences, wearing down his resistance, and a small part of him, a part he tries desperately to ignore, already knows he’s fighting a losing battle. Sooner or later, Dee is going to get what he wants, and then where will Ryo be? He won’t be able to deny the truth about himself any longer, and that scares the hell out of him.
The End
As he gets older, joins the police academy, graduates, dons the uniform, and becomes a rookie police officer, the dating falls by the wayside a bit. He’s too busy with his new job, learning the ropes from his training officer, trying to memorise the vast amount of information that he’ll need to know by heart before he can move forward as a fully-fledged member of the NYPD. It’s months before he realises that he doesn’t even miss dating, although by the end of his rookie year, when the pressures of work ease up just a little, he decides he should make an effort, if only to avoid standing out from his fellow cops as being different.
None of his relationships last for very long though, a few weeks, maybe two or three months at best, and he puts that down to his job, the long hours, the irregular shifts that make it difficult to find time for romance… Anyone who isn’t a cop themselves can’t really understand the demands of the job, and anyone who IS a cop is in the same position as he is, trying to juggle shifts to make time for a personal life.
And then, a few years into his career in law enforcement, he takes his detective’s exam, passes with high marks, gets assigned to a new precinct, the two-seven, and meets his new partner. Dee Laytner is tall, black-haired, green eyed, confident in his bisexuality, and the lie Ryo has been living for so long starts to fall apart even as he tries to cling to it, telling Dee that he’s not interested, that he’s straight… He’s been lying to everyone, even himself, for so long now that he can’t stop, he’s too afraid of what will happen if he lets himself give in to the desires he’s repressed for his whole adult life.
But Dee won’t give up, keeps pushing at the walls Ryo’s built around himself, pouncing on him every chance he gets, kissing him… Why does Dee have to be so insistent? Why can’t he simply accept what Ryo keeps telling him? Why is his partner so fixated on him? Ryo knows he’s nothing remarkable, just an ordinary guy, not the kind of person to inspire such single-minded pursuit.
Then again, Dee is the kind of guy who’s probably used to having anyone he’s interested in practically throw themselves at him. Having someone resisting his attempts at seduction must be a new experience, but Ryo has no intention of becoming nothing more than another notch on his partner’s bedpost.
At least, that’s what Ryo keeps telling himself, even as Dee keeps chipping away at his defences, wearing down his resistance, and a small part of him, a part he tries desperately to ignore, already knows he’s fighting a losing battle. Sooner or later, Dee is going to get what he wants, and then where will Ryo be? He won’t be able to deny the truth about himself any longer, and that scares the hell out of him.
The End