badly_knitted (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
badly_knitted) wrote2025-06-16 06:59 pm
badly_knitted) wrote2025-06-16 06:59 pm
Entry tags:
BtVS Fic: Burning Bright
Title: Burning Bright
Fandom: BtVS
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Angel, Buffy.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1171
Spoilers: Set just before Ted.
Summary: Angel looks up to Buffy, she’s everything he knows he never was and never can be, making her all the more precious to him.
Written For: Prompt 160 – Innocence at
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fandomweekly.Disclaimer: I don’t own BTVS, or the characters.
Buffy was everything Angel knew he wasn’t and would never be. She was good, kind, caring, compassionate, selfless, an innocent soul in a harsh and uncaring world, forced to sacrifice all hope of a normal life to fulfil a destiny she never asked for. Nobody so young should have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Angel’s cold, unbeating heart had ached for her from the moment he’d first laid eyes on her. She looked so small, hardly more than a child!
She wasn’t the first Slayer he’d encountered during his long existence as a vampire, just the first since having his own soul restored, along with his ability to feel the finer human emotions. Perhaps the terrible burden of his own guilt and shame colored his perception of her, or perhaps her seeming fragility had touched something deep inside him, something he’d never been aware of. In the end, it didn’t matter. He’d vowed to help her, to protect her, to do whatever he could to keep her alive. Slayers died so young, and he didn’t want that for her, couldn’t bear the thought of her light being snuffed out like a candle that had shone too brightly and burned out too fast.
He hadn’t meant to fall in love with her, but perhaps that had been as inevitable as the sun coming up each morning. To his eyes, she was easily as bright as earth’s nearest star, and she burned him with the sweetest pain imaginable. He loved that she could make him feel so much when for so long he had tried his best to feel nothing at all. From their first meeting, despite her obvious distrust of him, he’d wanted nothing more than to just be near her, and the more he’d gotten to know her, the more she filled his lonely existence with light and warmth that he hadn’t been aware he needed.
“I’m not so special,” Buffy insisted, when he tried to tell her how much she meant to him, how precious she was, what a remarkable young woman she was growing into.
Angel was stunned. “How can you say that? You sacrificed your life to stop the Master. You could have refused, no one would have blamed you, but you went below anyway, even knowing you’d most likely be killed.”
Buffy laughed, but it was without humor. “What choice did I have? I figured I couldn’t argue with prophecy, and I didn’t want someone else dying in my place, I couldn’t have lived with that. But it was a mistake, I shouldn’t have gone. If I hadn’t, the Master wouldn’t have been able to escape. I let loose one of the most powerful vampires in existence, put the whole world at risk.”
“And then you saved the world by killing him.”
“If you and Xander hadn’t saved me…” Buffy started, but Angel shook his head.
“I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t. It was all Xander.” It stung for him to admit that, jealousy and resentment coiling inside him, but it was true nevertheless. “I hated him for being able to do the one thing I couldn’t, breathe life back into you. I’m shallow, I always have been. When I was human, I wasn’t a good person. I only cared about my own pleasure. I did what I wanted, and to hell with anyone else. But you, you’re always putting everyone else first.”
“You’re sweet, but you make me sound a lot more noble than I am.” Buffy smiled wryly. “I’m not perfect, Angel. I’ve never been a saint, and if you think YOU were shallow… Well, you didn’t know me before, when my life revolved around clothes, makeup, boys, and being popular. I was horribly selfish and self-involved back then; I would have made Cordelia look like a paragon of thoughtfulness. I cheated at tests, I lied to my parents, didn’t do my homework, skipped classes a few times… I even shoplifted. It was a really cute lipstick, but I didn’t have the money for it, so I slipped it into my pocket.”
“You were young, you didn’t know any better.” As far as Angel was concerned, it was all part of the innocence of youth, not knowing or understanding that there might be consequences, just living for the moment. Such behaviours were seldom malicious, not designed to harm others, they simply came from a lack of awareness, and under-developed reasoning skills. He’d had no such excuse himself; he’d been old enough to know better, he just hadn’t cared, despite all the times his father had tried to drum some sense of responsibility into him.
“If I get a free pass for all the stupid teenage stuff I did, then so do you. You’re too hard on yourself.” Buffy squeezed his hand.
She was wrong, but Angel couldn’t bring himself to shatter Buffy’s illusions. He never wanted to see her bright, optimistic spirit grow tired and jaded.
“I’ve never met anyone like you.” He brushed back a strand of golden hair, marvelling that someone so incredible could care for a monster such as him, could look at him with such warmth and love in her eyes. “You see the best in everyone, even if they don’t deserve it. You make me want to be better than I am, I wish I could be worthy of you.”
“You are.” Leaning in, Buffy softly kissed Angel, and he closed his eyes, drinking in the taste of her lips, the warmth and weight of her in his lap, everything about her that was so precious to him. For the first time in longer than he could remember, there was someone who mattered more to him than satisfying his own desires.
He wanted to preserve her innocence, never allow darkness to touch her life and leave stains upon her soul. She was a beacon of hope, a cleansing fire, ridding the world of evil one vampire or demon at a time. She was the champion, and he… Whatever Buffy might believe of him, he was unworthy. He felt blessed that he was granted the honor of fighting alongside her; it was far better than he deserved, but still would never be enough to make amends for all the evil he’d committed in the past. He knew he’d be doing penance for all eternity, but it didn’t matter, because he'd do so willingly, just to have this time with Buffy, however long it might be.
He swore to himself that he’d carry on the battle in Buffy’s name long after she was gone; to the end of time if he could. Just please God let her not suffer the early death that was the lot of most Slayers. Grant her a long life. She’d already sacrificed herself once; she shouldn’t have to do that again. He’d die a million agonising deaths, ten million, a hundred million, more than all the stars in the heavens, for Buffy Summers to live the full and happy life she deserved.
The End
She wasn’t the first Slayer he’d encountered during his long existence as a vampire, just the first since having his own soul restored, along with his ability to feel the finer human emotions. Perhaps the terrible burden of his own guilt and shame colored his perception of her, or perhaps her seeming fragility had touched something deep inside him, something he’d never been aware of. In the end, it didn’t matter. He’d vowed to help her, to protect her, to do whatever he could to keep her alive. Slayers died so young, and he didn’t want that for her, couldn’t bear the thought of her light being snuffed out like a candle that had shone too brightly and burned out too fast.
He hadn’t meant to fall in love with her, but perhaps that had been as inevitable as the sun coming up each morning. To his eyes, she was easily as bright as earth’s nearest star, and she burned him with the sweetest pain imaginable. He loved that she could make him feel so much when for so long he had tried his best to feel nothing at all. From their first meeting, despite her obvious distrust of him, he’d wanted nothing more than to just be near her, and the more he’d gotten to know her, the more she filled his lonely existence with light and warmth that he hadn’t been aware he needed.
“I’m not so special,” Buffy insisted, when he tried to tell her how much she meant to him, how precious she was, what a remarkable young woman she was growing into.
Angel was stunned. “How can you say that? You sacrificed your life to stop the Master. You could have refused, no one would have blamed you, but you went below anyway, even knowing you’d most likely be killed.”
Buffy laughed, but it was without humor. “What choice did I have? I figured I couldn’t argue with prophecy, and I didn’t want someone else dying in my place, I couldn’t have lived with that. But it was a mistake, I shouldn’t have gone. If I hadn’t, the Master wouldn’t have been able to escape. I let loose one of the most powerful vampires in existence, put the whole world at risk.”
“And then you saved the world by killing him.”
“If you and Xander hadn’t saved me…” Buffy started, but Angel shook his head.
“I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t. It was all Xander.” It stung for him to admit that, jealousy and resentment coiling inside him, but it was true nevertheless. “I hated him for being able to do the one thing I couldn’t, breathe life back into you. I’m shallow, I always have been. When I was human, I wasn’t a good person. I only cared about my own pleasure. I did what I wanted, and to hell with anyone else. But you, you’re always putting everyone else first.”
“You’re sweet, but you make me sound a lot more noble than I am.” Buffy smiled wryly. “I’m not perfect, Angel. I’ve never been a saint, and if you think YOU were shallow… Well, you didn’t know me before, when my life revolved around clothes, makeup, boys, and being popular. I was horribly selfish and self-involved back then; I would have made Cordelia look like a paragon of thoughtfulness. I cheated at tests, I lied to my parents, didn’t do my homework, skipped classes a few times… I even shoplifted. It was a really cute lipstick, but I didn’t have the money for it, so I slipped it into my pocket.”
“You were young, you didn’t know any better.” As far as Angel was concerned, it was all part of the innocence of youth, not knowing or understanding that there might be consequences, just living for the moment. Such behaviours were seldom malicious, not designed to harm others, they simply came from a lack of awareness, and under-developed reasoning skills. He’d had no such excuse himself; he’d been old enough to know better, he just hadn’t cared, despite all the times his father had tried to drum some sense of responsibility into him.
“If I get a free pass for all the stupid teenage stuff I did, then so do you. You’re too hard on yourself.” Buffy squeezed his hand.
She was wrong, but Angel couldn’t bring himself to shatter Buffy’s illusions. He never wanted to see her bright, optimistic spirit grow tired and jaded.
“I’ve never met anyone like you.” He brushed back a strand of golden hair, marvelling that someone so incredible could care for a monster such as him, could look at him with such warmth and love in her eyes. “You see the best in everyone, even if they don’t deserve it. You make me want to be better than I am, I wish I could be worthy of you.”
“You are.” Leaning in, Buffy softly kissed Angel, and he closed his eyes, drinking in the taste of her lips, the warmth and weight of her in his lap, everything about her that was so precious to him. For the first time in longer than he could remember, there was someone who mattered more to him than satisfying his own desires.
He wanted to preserve her innocence, never allow darkness to touch her life and leave stains upon her soul. She was a beacon of hope, a cleansing fire, ridding the world of evil one vampire or demon at a time. She was the champion, and he… Whatever Buffy might believe of him, he was unworthy. He felt blessed that he was granted the honor of fighting alongside her; it was far better than he deserved, but still would never be enough to make amends for all the evil he’d committed in the past. He knew he’d be doing penance for all eternity, but it didn’t matter, because he'd do so willingly, just to have this time with Buffy, however long it might be.
He swore to himself that he’d carry on the battle in Buffy’s name long after she was gone; to the end of time if he could. Just please God let her not suffer the early death that was the lot of most Slayers. Grant her a long life. She’d already sacrificed herself once; she shouldn’t have to do that again. He’d die a million agonising deaths, ten million, a hundred million, more than all the stars in the heavens, for Buffy Summers to live the full and happy life she deserved.
The End