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badly_knitted) wrote2025-07-14 06:07 pm
badly_knitted) wrote2025-07-14 06:07 pm
Entry tags:
BtVS Ficlet: Lonely For You
Title: Lonely For You
Fandom: BtVS
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Willow, Xander, Oz.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Lover’s Walk and the first half of season three.
Summary: Willow had thought that pining over Xander was as painful as it got. She was wrong.
Word Count: 538
Written For: scytale’s prompt ‘any, any, intense pining,’ at
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threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
Willow had spent her entire adolescence, and most of her pre-adolescent years, pining over Xander. Even then she’d known he didn’t see her as a girl, just as his best bud, but she’d ached for him to open his eyes and really LOOK at her, see what could be between them. Even after Buffy came into their lives and Xander couldn’t see past their new friend to the one who’d been there for him ever since they’d been little kids, she’d kept on hoping and dreaming and wishing that he might one day realise that what he really wanted had been right in front of him all along. It could happen, right?
But then she’d gotten a really cool and amazing boyfriend, the first boy to ever be genuinely interested in her, exactly as she was, without wanting to change much of anything about her, except for her obsession with Xander. And everything should have been great, everything WAS great, except that Xander chose that exact moment to suddenly wake up and realise she wasn’t a skinny little kid with braces anymore, that she’d grown into a cute teenage girl, bordering on womanhood… NOW he was interested, just as she’d always wanted him to be, now, when they were both dating other people, he decided he wanted to be more than her best friend.
And she knew she shouldn’t have let him kiss her that first time, let him KEEP kissing her every chance they got, both of them made giddy and excited by the thrill of doing something so illicit, never imagining that they might get caught. But she HAD let him, and perhaps even encouraged him, because wasn’t it Xander she’d wanted all along? And now, finally, she could have him, sneaking around behind their significant others’ backs, making out whenever they thought they could get away with it, playing with fire. But then Cordy and Oz had found out, and now…
Now Oz wouldn’t even speak to her, would barely look in her direction, just kept avoiding her, and she couldn’t blame him, because she’d hurt him so terribly. But as she endured the silent treatment, she realised something unexpected: nothing had ever hurt her worse than not being with Oz.
All those years of pining over Xander were nothing compared to what she felt now, because the thought of Oz never wanting to be with her again sucked all the air out of the room, and all she wanted was to undo every wrong thing she’d done and make things right with him. Only she couldn’t, some things were impossible to undo; as much as she wished it were possible, she couldn’t simply turn back time and erase all her mistakes… She just missed Oz so badly, it felt like a vital part of her had been ripped away, a part of her she hadn’t recognised the importance of until it was gone, and the worst part was that it was her own fault for wanting to have it all. She hadn’t known what pining was until now. She wouldn’t even mind if Oz didn’t forgive her, if only he’d take her back and let her try to make things right. She’d do anything!
The End
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