Double Drabble: Curses
Feb. 5th, 2023 04:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Curses
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Jack, Ianto, OCs.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 746: Curse at
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torchwood100.Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Torchwood defeats an unusual invasion force.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
Alien invasions didn’t typically proceed in this manner; Ianto was reasonably certain, having been involved in repelling would-be invaders several times in the past. Usually there would be threats, fighting, weapons being discharged. This was a bit different.
“May all your progeny smell of onions!” the commander of the invading force, a short, squat, blue-skinned being, dressed in purple leatherette, shouted at Jack.
“A pox on you and all your littermates!” Jack yelled back. “May your skin break out in oozing pustules and your noses drip for eternity!”
That sounded rather harsh to Ianto since the aliens had extraordinarily large noses; they’d need handkerchiefs the size of bath towels.
The commander drew himself up to his full four-foot height, his face taking on a purplish tinge. “May all your fur fall out and never grow back!”
“That happens to humans all the time,” Ianto pointed out mildly. “Some people shave their fur off deliberately.”
The invasion force stared at him in horror before their commander rallied with, “May the waters of the earth fall from your skies!”
Ianto shrugged. “It rains here most days anyway.”
“This planet is irrational!” the commander shrieked. “We’re leaving!”
Jack grinned. “Looks like we win!”
The End
