Ficlet: Hopeless Love
Apr. 25th, 2025 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Hopeless Love
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Tosh, Owen.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 568
Spoilers: Nada. Set pre-series.
Summary: Being in love was supposed top be wonderful, but it was ruining Tosh’s life.
Written For:
doreyg’s prompt ‘Any, any, I love you, it's ruining my life’, at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Tosh did her best to focus on her keyboards, her screens, and the lines of code scrolling across them, anything to keep from looking at the person seated at the workstation next to hers, chewing on the end of a biro, engrossed in a computer game instead of typing up the reports Jack had asked him for hours ago. He never so much as glanced her way, but she hadn’t expected him to. He hadn’t said a word to her all morning, just shambled into the Hub, threw himself down in his chair and slurped from the takeaway coffee he’d bought on his way in, steadfastly ignoring her existence. Nothing new there.
Still, the complete indifference stung, even though she knew it shouldn’t. It was just that being in love was supposed to be a good thing. All the romance movies said loving someone was the best feeling in the world, because everybody needed somebody, no one was meant to be alone. The trouble was, for love to be worth anything, it had to be reciprocated, two hearts entwined, giving and taking in equal measure, supporting and being supported. That was how relationships were supposed to work, but what happened when only one heart was doing the loving? What was the point of loving someone who didn’t feel the same way?
Because that was the root of Tosh’s problem. For reasons she couldn’t even begin to understand, her heart was set on someone who barely even noticed she existed, and on those rare occasions when he DID deign to notice her, it was only because he wanted her help with something, or more likely, because he wanted to shove some task Jack had given him onto her, because he couldn’t be bothered with doing it himself. He didn’t see her as a woman, or as much of anything, if she was honest with herself, she might as well have been part of the office furniture as far as Owen Harper was concerned, something that could occasionally be useful to have around, but could safely be ignored the rest of the time.
That might not have been so bad, except for the times when he took his bad moods out on her, probably because he knew that she’d just sit there and silently take it, unlike Suzie, who’d lay into him, giving as good as she got. Tosh wasn’t that kind of person, the worst she would do was just walk away, but with every snide comment, every dismissive gesture, every cruel putdown, her heart broke a little more.
Why she was fixated on someone so obnoxious, so thoughtless, so arrogant and mean-spirited, Tosh would never understand. She was sure there must be better men out there, perhaps even one somewhere who would treat her the way the men in romance movies treated the main character, and she ought to be out there every chance she got, looking for her mister right. But it seemed like every time she thought of doing that, Owen would smile at her, or say something nice, and her heart would fill with hope, only to have it dashed again by another thoughtless remark. Being in love was awful, because as much as she wanted Owen, deep down she knew she’d never have him, and clinging to the dream of what might be if she could only win his heart was ruining her life.
The End
Still, the complete indifference stung, even though she knew it shouldn’t. It was just that being in love was supposed to be a good thing. All the romance movies said loving someone was the best feeling in the world, because everybody needed somebody, no one was meant to be alone. The trouble was, for love to be worth anything, it had to be reciprocated, two hearts entwined, giving and taking in equal measure, supporting and being supported. That was how relationships were supposed to work, but what happened when only one heart was doing the loving? What was the point of loving someone who didn’t feel the same way?
Because that was the root of Tosh’s problem. For reasons she couldn’t even begin to understand, her heart was set on someone who barely even noticed she existed, and on those rare occasions when he DID deign to notice her, it was only because he wanted her help with something, or more likely, because he wanted to shove some task Jack had given him onto her, because he couldn’t be bothered with doing it himself. He didn’t see her as a woman, or as much of anything, if she was honest with herself, she might as well have been part of the office furniture as far as Owen Harper was concerned, something that could occasionally be useful to have around, but could safely be ignored the rest of the time.
That might not have been so bad, except for the times when he took his bad moods out on her, probably because he knew that she’d just sit there and silently take it, unlike Suzie, who’d lay into him, giving as good as she got. Tosh wasn’t that kind of person, the worst she would do was just walk away, but with every snide comment, every dismissive gesture, every cruel putdown, her heart broke a little more.
Why she was fixated on someone so obnoxious, so thoughtless, so arrogant and mean-spirited, Tosh would never understand. She was sure there must be better men out there, perhaps even one somewhere who would treat her the way the men in romance movies treated the main character, and she ought to be out there every chance she got, looking for her mister right. But it seemed like every time she thought of doing that, Owen would smile at her, or say something nice, and her heart would fill with hope, only to have it dashed again by another thoughtless remark. Being in love was awful, because as much as she wanted Owen, deep down she knew she’d never have him, and clinging to the dream of what might be if she could only win his heart was ruining her life.
The End
