badly_knitted: (Dee & Ryo black & white)
[personal profile] badly_knitted

Title: Coming To Terms
Fandom: FAKE
Author: [personal profile] badly_knitted 
Characters: Dee/Ryo
Rating: PG
Setting: Shortly after the manga.
Summary: Dee muses on being bisexual and a lapsed Catholic.
Word Count: 500
Written For: Prompt #441: Religious at [community profile] slashthedrabble .
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

Dee had grown up in a Catholic orphanage run by a nun; attending both church and bible study every Sunday had been a fact of life he’d never questioned, until in his early teens he’d begun to realise he was attracted to boys as well as girls. For several weeks he’d been terrified, convinced he would surely burn in hell because of desires he’d been told were unnatural and wicked, but he’d confessed his fears to Mother and been reassured. Love shared between two people, she’d told him, could never be wrong, whether it was between a man and a woman, two men, or two women. Nothing in the world was more important than loving someone and being loved in return. He’d taken her words to heart.

By the time he’d left the orphanage for the police academy, going to church had become a thing of the past. Dee still believed in God, still considered himself to be a Catholic, even if he was a lapsed one, and still sent up the occasional prayer for his own safety and that of the people he cared about, but that was about as religious as he got. He knew now that he wasn’t evil or corrupt just because he sometimes fell in love with men, and if the Catholic Church didn’t approve of him, that was their problem, not his. He’d seen more than enough in the course of his duties to know what genuine evil looked like, and two men in love with each other wasn’t it, not even close.

All in all, despite that brief period of fear for his soul, Dee thought he’d probably had an easier time of adjusting to his sexuality than Ryo. He credited Mother’s no-nonsense attitude for that; she was the person Dee had trusted more than anyone as he was growing up, knowing she would never lie to him, and when she’d said he was perfectly fine just the way he was, that was all he’d needed to hear in order to accept himself.

Ryo, it seemed, had never had someone tell him straight out that there was nothing wrong with being gay. As far as Dee could tell, his partner had no particular religious leanings to muddy the waters, but maybe he’d seen other gay kids getting picked on and bullied, or maybe he’d overheard homophobic rants by people whose opinion he respected. Dee didn’t know and didn’t intend to ask, because stirring up old memories was unlikely to make Ryo feel better about himself, it would just make the old doubts and fears resurface.

Whatever reasons he’d had for repressing his sexuality, Ryo needed to leave the past behind and move forward, embracing that side of himself rather than trying to pretend it didn’t exist. Persuading him to do that remained a work in progress, but Dee had no doubt whatsoever that he was best person to help his partner come to terms with being gay. They’d both benefit from his experience.

The End

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