BtVS Double Drabble: Almost Ready

[badly_knitted]

 


Title: Almost Ready
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy, Angelus.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 411: Give Me Time at drabble_zone.
Spoilers/Setting: Second half of Season Two.
Summary: Buffy was almost ready to deal with Angelus. All she’d needed was enough time for love to turn to hate.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
 


 

One little spontaneous act, something that should have been the beginning of the next stage in her first serious relationship, had turned Buffy’s entire existence into a kind of surreal nightmare. The gentle, caring boyfriend she’d made love with had turned into a sadistic monster, and since that night, Angelus had dedicated himself to tormenting her, threatening her friends, her mom… He’d even murdered Ms Calendar, all because she’d been trying to recreate the curse responsible for restoring his soul the first time.
 

Maybe he was trying to drive her insane the way he had with Drusilla, but if that was the case then he’d seriously misjudged her. She wasn’t going to lose her mind, no matter what he did. All he was doing was making it easier for her to see that he was no longer the man she’d loved. Every cruelty, every taunt, just made her hate him more.
 

She probably should have killed him right away, but it wasn’t that simple. She’d been too off-balance at first, not ready to accept that Angel was gone for good. She’d just needed time to adjust. Now, though…
 

She wanted him to suffer, to hurt him as he’d hurt her.
 
 

The End
 



 

Comments

[kitarella_imagines]

That's why I could never be an actor 😅 I'd hate all that, I like honesty.

[badly_knitted]

It's not the glamorous profession some people see to think. Long hours, doing the same scene over and over until the director is satisfied, everything filmed out of order, spending ages in make-up then having to keep getting it touched up, getting soaked, or too hot, or freezing cold on location... I could never do any of that. Not even when I was young.

[kitarella_imagines]

Yes, not my cup of tea either, I like being invisible in the background, writing stories, not acting in public. And as for sex scenes, I could never, ever do those, ewww.

[badly_knitted]

Yes, invisible background person here too.

Heck, even kissing scenes! No thanks.

[kitarella_imagines]

It's funny, I write E rated fanfics but I am pretty reserved in real life! Well I wouldn't like to do kissing and sex scenes with strange men (actors).😂

[badly_knitted]

And some actors are VERY strange *grins*

I write some explicit fic (need to get something done for Bring Back the Porn), but I'm not that kind of person in real life, it's just that my characters are...

[kitarella_imagines]

Yes the idea of acting kissing and/or sex doesn't appeal to me. I'd have a clause in my contract- no sex scenes- if I was an actor, which I never would be 😂 I think Henry Cavill had that clause in his contract for a few years, when he was much younger. Although obviously he changed his mind later.

I like the fact that I appear to be a prim and proper married woman who would be shocked at the slightest thing, but instead I read and write E rated fics and not much shocks me. The two extremes make me laugh. Some of my online friends were shocked at the sex in Bridgerton but it just washed over my head. So to speak 🤭

[badly_knitted]

I guess there are bound to be some actors who don't do that stuff, fand others who are unfazed, but I couldn't. I prefer to be well covered with clothing, lol!

I'm 62, a lot of people would be shocked that I love to read X-rated fics and occasionally write them. My mum never found out even though we lived together. Excessive swearing on TV shows bothers me, but sex scenes don't.

[kitarella_imagines]

Yes, thinking about it, there are actors who don't do sex scenes aren't there. e.g. Samuel L Jackson, Sarah Jessica Parker. Henry Cavill said he was traumatised by The Tudors and it put him off sex scenes, then he felt better some years later and changed his mind.

That shocked attitude is what annoys me. People are such prudes! Sex and love is normal and natural, why shouldn't we read and write stories about them? At whatever age we like.

I think violence, horror and murder are more weird and I wonder why people aren't more shocked by those subjects. I never write about those! How come they are viewed as normal things to read and write, but sex and love are not?

I am getting on my soapbox now! lol.

[badly_knitted]

I'm sure Sarah Jessica Parker must have done sex scenes in Sex and the City. Maybe she's stopped now she's older. There must be a lot who don't though, for whatever reasons. All actors should be free to only do what they're comfortable with. It's like with prosthetic makeup - some actors just can't handle that while others love working under a ton of latex. No one should be made to feel bad or guilty for not wanting to do certain things on screen, or on stage.

So true, love and sex are a big part of being human and should be celebrated.

I freely admit I do write violence and murder (two of my characters are homicide detectives, so yes, they deal with murders and dead bodies. I wrote another drabble today with a murder scene. I also love writing horror for spook_me every year, although I don't watch horror movies these days because they creep me out now that I live alone. But loving relationships are the basis of most of my fanfic, even though find romance novels and movies boring. I think I need to be really invested in the characters to enjoy a romance plotline, and I can get that when it's characters I'm familiar with and who I love.

[kitarella_imagines]

I also thought she had done sex scenes in SATC but apparently not. I read that she refused to do nudity, but I can’t remember exactly because it was so long ago I watched it, so I just read it on a list of ‘actors who won’t do sex scenes.’

With ‘sex scenes,’ I suppose what I mean is—actors who do graphic sex scenes as in ‘manoeuvring’. Just ‘being in bed, talking/sitting up/sleeping’ is not graphic. If I was an actor, I could do the ‘being in bed’ but not the ‘manoeuvring.’ If you get my meaning. I'm getting the giggles now.🤭

Yes definitely actors shouldn’t be pushed to do things, I hate the thought of young actors feeling like they have to do sex scenes to move up in their careers. Sounds like ‘the casting couch’ thing doesn’t it. Ugh.

Oh yes if people like writing horror, murder etc, each to their own. It’s just not for me and I avoid it. I like writing about love, romance, sex. And humour! I cannot write a fic that doesn’t have SOME kind of humour in it. I can’t even write love, romance and sex without humour and giggling. Probably why I like the Professionals at the moment—they can’t do anything without laughing and playing around!

[badly_knitted]

She probably did some in bed but not graphic scenes then. I've re-watched part of Season One (I have most of the DVDs picked up at charity shops) but since I mostly listen while doing other things, can't say I noticed one way or the other.

Oh yes, I can manage being in bed as long as I don't need to move 😁

Really does have Casting Couch vibes, doesn't it? *shudders*

I tend to just write whatever a prompt or challenge inspires. Occasionally it will be something angsty, in which case there probably won't be any humour, but mostly there's something humorous in whatever I write, even if it's just the banter between characters. Even when my detectives are at a murder scene, although then it tends to be black humour.

I really need to watch my Professionals DVDs. Trouble is, I'm currently trying to re-watch Buffy, Stargate SG-1, and Babylon 5. I need more hours in my days.

[kitarella_imagines]

Yes I wish I'd chosen another actor now, not Sarah, as neither of us know for sure about whether she's done sex scenes or not 😅

Same here about the bed.

I dread to think what has happened to young actors of any gender on the casting couch in the past...

Oh yes of course, that's a good way to be- get inspired by a prompt! I think I tend to get prompts in my own head really, no idea where they come from! I'm glad you like writing humour, I find it's not a common type of fanfic and I'm in a minority writing humour. Most people seem to write sex, angst or whump. But I can't write anything without a bit of humour, and sex is funny much of the time anyway. Giggling always happens in my sex scenes e.g. recently some characters were doing it in a river and had to stop each other falling into the river, so that was funny.

Oh I love all your DVD choices! I hope you get to watch them all! The Professionals could be after all of those, they aren't going anywhere 😊

[badly_knitted]

I'm sure there are a lot of other actors/actresses, but whether they do or don't is entirely up to them.

Hottest sex scene for me is one with Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin in the Big Easy, just so sexy and not even that explicit. There was some giggling from Ellen, so giggling that definitely be good in sex scenes.

I subscribe to a lot of weekly challenge communities, so those are the prompts I mostly write for although I dip into comment_fic from time to time as well. When I first started writing, I didn't think I'd ever be able to write for prompts, not even the simple one-word type, but now I do it all the time.

I like writing cracky humour, like a character accidentally swapping bodies with a cow, or getting turned into a plant, or my Evil Socks fic. I have a weird brain *grins*

Since I own them all, they will get watched - I do a B5 re-watch practically every year - but it's hard to fit everything in. I was a teenager when the Professionals was on, I have all the novel versions of the episodes too because this was back before videos and DVDs, so I couldn't re-watch episodes but I could read them and get my fix that way. I was obsessed *grins*

[kitarella_imagines]

I've definitely seen that film with Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin but it must have been about 40 years ago so I can't remember a thing about it 😅

It's great when you see your own writing style evolving, growing and changing isn't it!

All humour is fun, I love it.

I love Babylon 5, we've got the box set but only watch it occasionally. I don't tend to rewatch things very often, I like thinking fondly of them in my mind. Great series though! I can't choose which is my favourite character.

Oh yes they did novel versions of the Professionals didn't they! Apparently they are pretty slashy?

I must have been 8-14 when the Professionals was on first and far too young. Then they repeated them in the mid or late 1980s when I was in my late teens and my mum and I loved them. You probably read in my post that we first liked Doyle, then we transferred our affections to Bodie. I can't decide now, I like both! 😂

[badly_knitted]

It's not even a long scene, but it's very sexy. I love that movie, partly because I love Cajun music and the soundtrack is great, so I have it on DVD. I like both actors anyway. 😊

It really is. I've ben writing about 14 years now and I've mastered a lot of things I thought I could never do.

There are so many different kinds of humour, something for every mood.😁

My favourite characters are forever changing, probably because I love them all, except Bester and Morden, and we're not supposed to like them. In the end though, I think it's the alien ambassadors and their aides that I enjoy the most. Such tremendous actors, and so many no longer with us. 🥲

It's been so long since I read them, I honestly couldn't say. I'll have to do a re-read sometime.

I was... I don't know, 15? 16? When did the show first air? '77, so yeah, 15. Bodie was my favourite from the start, and my older sister fancied Doyle, lol! I'm very loyal to my favourites, so it's still Bodie. I had posters out of magazines on my walls. Wish I still had them. Actually, I think I might still have one somewhere... 😀

[kitarella_imagines]

I've just realised I'm woffling on underneath your story about Buffy, I hope that's okay.

Maybe I should watch that film again then! I'll see if I can find it on Netflix.

Yes, I was really proud of myself the other day because I managed to write long descriptive paragraphs in a few of my fics. For many years I've written mostly dialogue which looks very ‘liney’ and unreadable. So that’s something I'm improving on.

Oh I know what you mean about Babylon 5. I like Marcus, Ivanova, Delenn, Sheridan, G’kar, Londo, Vir, Stephen, Kosh…probably loads more I've forgotten! Brilliant show. I wonder why people didn’t make more fuss over it. I suppose Star Trek and Star Wars have always been so much bigger.

I might look into the Professionals novels, see what they’re like.

I'm just not as fussy as I used to be, now days my type is simply ‘men’ and I'm just a floozie. 😂 Both Bodie and Doyle have their good points, I could probably write an essay about them.

So sad that Lewis Collins died so long ago, I was too busy to notice at the time but it’s so sad to think of that now, poor bloke. Although it sounds like he had a very happy life with his family in America. Why the hell he didn’t become a famous superstar actor I'll never understand.

[badly_knitted]

It's fine, conversations just ramble all over the place so it doesn't bother me what started them. I have similar rambling conversations with people all over my journals, although conversations don't happen as often as they used to, which is sad. I love a good ramble.

Let me know what you think if you can find it!

I enjoy writing dialogue, but I'm very visual, so I write tons of description, especially when exploring alien planets. I can't draw well, so I paint pictures with words.

Star Trek is great, and so is the original Star Wars trilogy, but Babylon 5 with its 5-year story arc just does everything better. Nobody is perfect, people still do terrible things for what they think are good reasons, ever character changes and develops over the course of the show, and as G'Kar says, no one is quite what they seem. (I was devastated when Andreas Katsulas passed, he was a remarkable man and a brilliant actor, with a very distinctive voice. He's acted under make-up in several Star Trek episodes, and his voice always grabs my attention.)

I haven't seen them for sale anywhere, but then I haven't been looking.

I think my 'type' varies a lot because it's less about looks than about the character.

Yes, he's been gone a long while. So sad when we lose someone we grew up watching. (I was floored when Leonard Nimoy passed soon after I lost my mum). Some actors, no matter how talented they are, just never make the bigtime, and of course some don't particularly want that kind of fame. But Lewis deserved greater recognition than I think he got.

[kitarella_imagines]

That’s good you think that about conversations. So many people these days don’t seem to know how to hold conversations. They think it’s all about one person lecturing and monologuing, and when other people reply with their own experiences, they say, ‘hey stop making it about you!’ A conversation should be people sharing experiences and opinions, like we are doing now!

I admire people who can write description, it’s the thing I'm worst at. But some of my recent stories have somehow been easier to write with description! One was because the two guys in it don’t talk very much, they are more men of action, so I had to fill in the description or it would have been a very boring story 🤣

Yes I've always loved Star Wars, well the original trilogy anyway. I'm a bit lukewarm about Star Trek. But I agree, Babylon 5 was streets ahead of both. That’s exactly what I liked about B5—humans were still as horrible as they always have been, they haven’t solved their problems; everyone schemes and argues and struggles. And of course character development is the important thing! Until the 1990s(I think?) shows didn’t seem to have any character development—the characters just stayed the same every episode, especially in sci fi and fantasy. But B5 DID show character development, it was ahead of its time.

I agree about a ‘type’. I've never really had a ‘type’. The closest I get to that is I prefer the more slim/ lanky/ wiry type of man. I don’t really go for chunky or muscly. But there’s always exceptions *cough* Bodie *cough*

So many famous people upset me when they died e.g. Carrie Fisher, Nicky Hayden, Alan Rickman. At the time Lewis died I was too busy with my family and had forgotten about Bodie and Doyle, so I just thought ‘oh that’s sad.’ I saw, however, that Martin Shaw was told very unkindly and suddenly by the press on the day, he was absolutely shaken.

I think Lewis’s ‘problem’ was that he was born too soon. In the 1980s, people couldn’t categorise him into either ‘actor’ or ‘soldier’ so he got rejected by the SAS as well as film directors. Whereas now days there are lots of roles for ‘tough guys with a heart of gold.’ e.g. he’d have been perfect in the Jason Statham series The Transporter, that would have suited him.

[badly_knitted]

Us older folks know how to have a proper conversation 😁

I think everyone who writes learns from doing, we get better at things we might not have been great at to start with, so now you're finding it a bit easier to write descriptions. Keep ay it! Not that all stories need a lot of description. It all depends on the story you're telling. Some things work better as mostly dialogue, other ideas work best with no dialogue at all.

I saw the original trilogy at the cinema when it first came out, bit I could never get into the other movies. Some of the acting was just so bad. I grew up with the original Star Trek, that's why it holds a special place in my heart. I remember watching it at 6 years old, and Spock was my first crush. I also grew up watching Doctor Who, so my fate as a fan of SF was sealed. 🤣

You're right, B5 really was ahead of its time, and the acting, the characters, the situations, all still hold up today, even if the CGI is somewhat dated now. I just watched two more episodes today, so powerful!

I have a soft spot for the broodier characters, I think.

Poor Martin, that must have been such a shock for him to find out like that!

It's always hard when someone you admire dies, even when they're in their 80s or 90s. Christopher Lee, David McCallum, John Hurt, so many others. Half the B5 cast are gone too, I think Mira Furlan was the most recent and that really hit hard. She was only 65.

Have you seen Who Dares Wins, the movie where Lewis played an SAS soldier? I remember him being really good in that, although I haven't seen it since pronably the 80s or something.

[kitarella_imagines]

Yes, well done us for conversing!

Thanks for your writing encouragement 🤗The story that started my long descriptions was about a Viking and a Saxon and they didn’t talk much, there was more scene setting and interior thoughts. Then a story about Bodie and Doyle, who sometimes don’t talk much either.

Same here with Star Wars! My heart belongs to the original films…Couldn’t really get into the prequels or sequels. I think Star Wars was what got me into Sci Fi, also Blake’s 7. I did fancy Spock though, he’s lovely isn’t he! Although I do tend to fancy alien men generally😅 And we totally agree about Babylon 5.

Aha, the broodier characters, then you should have preferred Doyle!😅

Yes, I'm sure it was journalists who told Martin that Lewis had died, as he came out of acting in a play that evening. He was gobsmacked. He probably didn’t even know Lewis was ill, as he kept it quiet.

Oh I heard about Mira Furlan, that was a shock!

I think I did watch Who Dares Wins but I can’t remember a thing about it. Like you it was probably many years ago and I'm not especially interested in action films like that.

[badly_knitted]

We're really good at it, aren't we? 🙃

Some characters are the taciturn type, in which case actions often speak louder than their few words.

The original Star Wars trilogy was a revelation. Really, George Lucas should have left it t that instead of trying to milk the franchise for all he could get. I loved Blake's 7 too, but by the time that came on I was already a dedicated SF fan.

Spock was indeed lovely! When I was a kid I thought I must be part Vulcan because one of my ears has a bit of a point, so in my child mind Spock was related to me 🤣 It made perfect sense to me.

Perhaps you're right, but the curly hair put me off. I was so shallow back then 🫤

That's awful. Poor Martin.

Mira was so talented, it was an awful loss. There aren't all that many of the original cast left. Aside from Mira and Andreas, we've lost Michael O'Hare, Steven Furst, Jerry Doyle, Tim Choate (Zathras), Rick Biggs, and I think Jeff Conaway. So sad.

I probably wouldn't have watched Who Dares Wins if Lewis hadn't been in it, but I did enjoy it at the time. I'll have to look up what else he was in. There was the SitCom The Cuckoo Waltz, but I'm not sure of anything else.

[kitarella_imagines]

I seriously think people need conversation lessons now days. So many of them have zero idea how to converse. My in laws are terrible, they just lecture and don’t know how to take turns.

Yes, my Viking and Saxon guys were not talkers, they just got down to it.

I agree about Star Wars. The original 3 films of the 70s/80s were fantastic, the others seemed to be cobbled together with not much thought. Although I was interested to see the prequels with Anakin Skywalker’s history and how he became Darth Vader, but I wasn't really interested in the sequel films. Apparently even Mark Hamill wasn’t very impressed with those!

That is funny and cute about little you thinking you were related to Spock.

I know what you mean, I've never liked curly hair but that doesn't seem to bother me anymore, I just like men as a species😂 And now days I appreciate Doyle/Martin more because he’s quite unusual looking and has that lanky type of body I like. But Bodie/Lewis wasn’t exactly fat was he. Really, I like both of them now.

Yes, there was a video on YouTube of Martin walking out of the theatre and finding a bunch of journalists waiting for him. He was obviously confused, and they shouted, ‘what do you think of Lewis Collins dying today?’ He was shocked and stumbled over his words. I can’t find the video now of course, it was so long ago. But it was a really nasty thing to do, all so the media could get a reaction.

It’s so sad about the lost Babylon 5 actors, it really makes you feel old doesn’t it, when favourite actors die...

I remember my parents watching the Cuckoo Waltz but I was about 5 so I've no idea what it was about. I really can’t remember what I thought of Who Dares Wins, it was so long ago. I do remember watching the real Iranian Embassy Siege live on TV though at the time, that probably put me off watching a film about it😅

[badly_knitted]

I agree. It's like everyone has forgotten how to communicate except by text. In the end, even when they're together, people are just going to be texting.

I like Mark Hamill, it's a smart guy with good sense, so I'm not surprised he wasn't impressed.

I guess it's part of why his death, on top of mum's, hit me so hard. It was like losing another relative.

I'm still kinda picky about which men I like. There are some pretty awful ones in the world, and I'm not talking about how they look. (I like long legs and a nice ass ;) Also the eyes. Nive eyes are important).

The fact that the press were filming it... That's ghoulish!

It really is. So much talent, gone too soon. I watched a couple of episodes of B5 last night and I realised every one of the actors who have died were in the episodes I watched. It's... an odd feeling.🫤

I only saw a few episodes, and I probably only watched for Lewis. I don't remember much.

Was that what Who Dares Wins was about? I can't remember, I just know it was SAS. Strange what sticks in the mind and what doesn't.

[kitarella_imagines]

They already do that, don’t they. Young people sit together looking at their phones and not speaking to each other.

I love Mark Hamill! He doesn’t take himself too seriously does he.

I'm not surprised that Leonard Nimoy’s death happening so close to your mum’s hit you so hard. I'm so sorry that double bereavement hit you (((hugs)))

Of course, I don’t like every man in the world. I mean that I don’t have a long checklist of things that rules them out, as I did when I was younger. I just admire attractive men, but if they have horrible personalities, no thanks. I tend to like unusual/weird looking men tbh, not the typical model type, models look boring to me. Martin and Lewis don’t/didn’t have horrible personalities, nor were they boring models. They were quirky and interesting.

Yes it was ghoulish. It’s inhumane to suddenly spring news of a death on someone like that. I felt really sorry for Martin having that thrown at him out of the blue. It’s lucky he wasn’t a young guy, but old enough to cope, he did really well. I don’t know what to think about Martin after he supposedly blocked the repeats of The Professionals but that day really made me sympathise with him.

I think that might be another reason I don’t watch B5 for a while—it’ll be too sad!

Yes I think WDW was about the SAS storming the Iranian embassy for some reason. Presumably to get rid of terrorists.