Fic: Weird Wedding
May. 1st, 2025 06:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Weird Wedding
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ianto, Gwen, Jack, Tosh, Owen, OCs.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2612
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Trying to hold a wedding in Cardiff, especially outside, is just asking for trouble… It’s a good thing the Torchwood team are used to dealing with weird situations.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt, ‘Book Randomness’ at
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1_million_words.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Cardiff was a beautiful city, no doubt about that, but it wasn’t without its downsides, which might have explained why couples getting married tended to look for a venue elsewhere. Anyone who chose to hold their nuptials within the city limits was just asking for trouble, which was why Gwen had booked a hotel thirty miles away, closer to where her parents lived in Swansea than to her own home. Even so, her wedding day hadn’t exactly gone smoothly, what with the whole Nostrovite deal. Right about now, the bride and groom whose wedding this was were probably wishing they’d had similar foresight.
Torchwood and weddings, Jack had pointed out while Gwen was planning hers, tended not to be a good mix, and the team weren’t even on the guest list for this one, which was fine since none of them knew the happy couple. They weren’t quite so happy at present, unfortunately; they hadn’t even made it to the bride’s grand entrance, mostly because the bride’s father, who was supposed to accompany her down the aisle, had mysteriously disappeared.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Gwen asked the bride, radiating sympathy. The young woman shook her head, apparently numb with shock, so Gwen turned to the bride’s mother. “How about you, Mrs Hughes? Do you have any idea where your husband might have gone?”
“Not really. I wasn’t with my daughter at the time, you see. I was making sure the bridesmaids were ready. It’s all very mysterious,” the other woman said. She was putting a brave face on things, but the way she was wringing her once pristine handkerchief between her hands showed she was just as shaken as her daughter. “I saw Ifor on his way over here to collect Dilys, he waved to me just as he was about to go inside the tent, but then there was a fuss with little Ceri, the flower girl, she’s only three you know, and she was having a bit of a tantrum. The next thing I knew, Dilys was screaming, and Ifor was nowhere to be found.” She turned to her daughter. “I did tell you I didn’t think an outdoor wedding was a good idea. Didn’t I say that?”
Dilys just hugged herself, shivering, tears leaking from her eyes, making her makeup run.
Ianto appeared, slipping quietly into the wedding marquee with a steaming cup in one hand, and an emergency blanket in the other. He solicitously guided Dilys into the nearest chair, wrapped the foil blanket around her shoulders, folding it carefully over the lap of her wedding dress, in case of spillage, and handed her the cup, gently folding her chilled fingers around it.
“You just drink this now,” he told her soothingly. “Sweet tea is still the best thing for shock. When you’re feeling a bit better, perhaps you’ll be able to tell me what happened.”
Dilys smiled gratefully through her tears and sipped her tea. There was a mild sedative in it, which would hopefully help her calm down enough to be intelligible. When the team had arrived on the scene, responding to a Rift alert, she’d been babbling hysterically about a horrible thing with eyes, which hadn’t been especially helpful in narrowing the possibilities. As Torchwood well knew, there were a lot of horrible things in the universe, and many of them had eyes, in varying numbers.
The rest of the team were currently outside, talking to the guests, the bridesmaids, the caterers, and the disgruntled officiant, who kept complaining that he was supposed to be officiating at another wedding in two hours, and he’d known all along it was a mistake to take on this one as well. He’d only agreed, he told anyone who’d listen, because his wife’s sister’s brother-in-law was the groom’s stepfather, and saying no to his wife was never a good idea. Not for a man who valued peace and quiet.
Peace and quiet, of course, were the kind of thing that went right out the window whenever Torchwood were involved. It wasn’t their fault, mostly, it was just that the things they dealt with were more conducive to chaos and shouting, which, as in this case, was generally already underway by the time they arrived. After they left, taking the cause of the chaos with them, things usually settled down, thanks to the judicious application of Retcon, but while Torchwood were present, it was rather important that any witnesses remembered what had happened, so that they could fill the team in on events up to that point. It saved time. Not that any of the wedding guests had been of much help so far. Most of them hadn’t seen anything, only heard a lot of screaming.
Gwen was just wondering who she should talk to next when the four ushers, hired along with the catering team, exploded back into the wedding marquee from the adjoining reception tent. Ianto turned from his quiet conversation with the bride and raised an eyebrow, not at the ushers themselves, as such, but at the undeniably horrible thing with eyes that was scuttling along right behind them.
Hearing the renewed screaming, Jack and Owen burst into the marquee through the main entrance, guns in hand, but Ianto was already taking steps to deal with the issue. Stepping smoothly between the fleeing ushers and the ‘thing’, he glared at it.
“Stop that! You’re scaring everybody!”
The thing skittered across the floor, a dozen eyestalks waving in agitation, valiantly tried to stop, and a dozen oddly jointed legs tangled together, tripping it so that with a pained yip, it fell flat on what passed for its face.
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Ianto sorted the legs out and helped the creature back onto its feet. A dozen eyes blinked up at him gratefully. Behind him, despite the sedative, Dilys gave a slightly hysterical giggle.
“It’s that thing again!” She downed the rest of her tea, dropped the cup on the floor, and burst into tears. “All I wanted was a nice wedding!” she wailed.
The thing made a distressed warbling sound.
“It’s not your fault, sir,” Ianto assured it. “Your current appearance is just… a bit alarming to most people, but I’m sure we’ll have everything fixed soon, now that we have a better idea of what we’re looking for.”
Jack holstered his Webley and ambled over. “Father of the bride?”
Ianto nodded. “It would seem so. He’s just not quite his usual self, but Tosh should be able to fix that, once we locate whatever’s responsible.” He smiled at Jack. “Could be worse. At least he’s still here, not abducted, or eaten. That would be a lot harder to deal with, and it would put a damper on the festivities. As it is… We could say everyone who saw anything was accidentally dosed with LSD. Unfortunate, but it shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the wedding.”
“That’s one possible explanation,” Jack agreed. “Guess we’d better start playing hunt the tech then. Anyone got any idea where to start?”
“He was last seen…” Gwen glanced warily at the thing, which stood beside Ianto, its eyestalks drooping. “Last seen as himself, that is, just as he was about to enter the bride’s pavilion, where she was finishing getting ready for her grand entrance. We know that he must have been like… that either when he went in, or shortly afterwards, otherwise she wouldn’t have screamed, so whatever we’re looking for must be around there.”
“Perfect!” Jack beamed. “I’ll grab Tosh and her scanners, and we’ll take a look.”
“Just be careful, and don’t touch it,” Ianto warned. “The last thing we need is more horrible things with eyes running around and causing chaos.” He glanced down at the father of the bride. “No offence, but if you could see yourself right now, you wouldn’t be too happy either. It’s not a good look.”
The monster that used to be a man gave a mournful hoot.
“Try not to worry about it. We deal with stuff like this all the time; we’ll sort you out.” Ianto turned to his colleague. “Gwen, why don’t you take Dilys somewhere and see if you can help her fix her makeup? She’ll want to be looking her best for her wedding. Just avoid the bride’s pavilion for now.” He handed Gwen a Retcon pill. “Once she’s looking better, give her another cup of tea. I’ll take care of her dad.”
Gwen nodded and ushered Dilys out.
Mrs Hughes was frowning at the thing. “That’s never Ifor! I know my husband, and he doesn’t look like…” she waved one hand “That!”
“I’m sure that’s true, let’s just say he’s suffered a rather unfortunate accident, but there’s no need to worry.”
“Urp,” the bride’s father agreed, seeming reassured by Ianto’s calm manner. Folding his legs, he sank to the floor, rather more tidily this time, looking a bit like a cross between a crab, a spider, and a broken umbrella.
Ianto nodded approvingly. “That’s right, Mr Hughes, you just relax while we sort everything out. We’ll have the wedding underway again before you know it.” He smiled at Mrs Hughes. “Your husband will be fine. This isn’t even close to the oddest situation we’ve ever dealt with.”
Mrs Hughes sat down on a convenient chair. “I’ll have to take your word for it, I suppose. I don’t even know who you people are.”
“Nobody important.”
“Just the people who deal with odd situations.”
“That’s us. Somebody has to do it.”
“I did tell Dilys that having an outdoor wedding in the middle of Cardiff was a bad idea, but she wouldn’t listen. ‘What if it rains?’ I said, ‘You’ll get your dress all muddy, and everyone will look bedraggled in the photos.’” She shook her head. “My husband getting turned into a monster never crossed my mind.”
“It’s not the kind of complication people generally consider likely. You’re taking it a lot better than most people would.”
“Tranquilizers,” Mrs Hughes said. “I have a touch of social anxiety, so for big events like this… they take the edge off. I only take one occasionally though.” She looked at her husband, who turned all twelve eyes in her direction. “I suppose it could be worse. For a while there I thought you might have run out on us, especially after our argument earlier.”
“IP!” Mr Hughes said firmly.
“Yes, well, I know that now.” She looked at Ianto again. “What will happen to him if you can’t fix him?”
“That’s something you don’t need to worry about. Our tech expert is a certified genius; she’s never failed to reverse a transformation. Not even when our boss accidentally turned himself into a starfish, and she wasn’t even in Cardiff at the time. Sorted everything out from the other side of the world.”
“A starfish?”
“Long story, and one you don’t need to hear.” Ianto turned as Jack and Tosh came back into the marquee. “Did you find it?”
“Yep!” Jack flashed his best smile. “It was under a little foldaway table beside the entrance.”
Tosh nodded. “My guess is, Mr Hughes kicked it as he entered the bride’s pavilion, triggering it and transforming himself into his present form.”
“Makes sense,” Ianto agreed. “Can you reverse it?”
“The device is pretty standard transformative technology, the kind designed to facilitate communication between different species, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Really no different to the time we all got turned into little green aliens. I should have Mr Hughes back to his usual self in about ten minutes. I Just need to make sure the settings didn’t get altered when it was kicked, then it should just be a case of operating it in reverse.”
“Will it hurt him?” Mrs Hughes asked, looking worried. “Because I wouldn’t want that. We have our fights now and then, but I do love him. He’s a good husband, and a good father. He might not be the most handsome man in the world, especially not right now, but he’s mine. Even when I joke that I’ll trade him in for a newer model if he loses any more hair, I don’t mean it. I hope he knows that.”
Mr Hughes warbled reassuringly at his wife, and she smiled fondly back at him.
“He’s always had a lovely voice. That was the first thing I noticed about him. A proper Welsh tenor, he is. Used to sing in a choir when he was younger. You know, Ifor, you should think about taking that up again, now Dilys is getting married, and Harri is off to university in a few months. I know you used to enjoy it.”
“Urp!” Mr Hughes said agreeably.
“Right,” said Tosh, “I’m ready, if Mr Hughes is. There’s just one thing I can’t guarantee.” She blushed slightly. “I don’t know if Mr Hughes will still have clothes on when he’s changed back.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Jack said easily. “Ianto is very good at procuring suitable clothing in an emergency. He has the eye of a master tailor.”
“If we’re lucky, it won’t be necessary.” Ianto stepped away from Mr Hughes, not wanting to get caught in the transformation beam.
“It might be better if you’re standing,” Tosh said, addressing Mr Hughes, who obligingly levered himself up on all twelve legs. Tosh smiled. “Alright then, just relax. This should only take a moment.” She activated the device, Mr Hughes shimmered, and then he was himself again, just with rather less clothing than was generally considered proper for a wedding anywhere other than a nudist colony.
Jack beamed. “Looking good there, Mr Hughes.”
The man in question hurriedly covered the family jewels, and Ianto rolled his eyes.
“Jack, stop ogling the bride’s father, it’s not polite.” He turned to Mr and Mrs Hughes. “Sorry about that. He thinks he’s being helpful, making people feel better about themselves, and in some cases that might be true, but now is not the time.”
Predictably, Jack pouted, but everyone ignored him.
“I can’t walk my daughter down the aisle like this,” Mr Hughes pointed out. “She’d never forgive me.”
“It does provide a good reason for the delay though,” Ianto pointed out, raking a professional gaze over Mr Hughes’ body, estimating his measurements. “A wardrobe mishap requiring Mr Hughes to replace his suit at the last minute. If you’ll tell me what you were wearing, I’ll do what I can to get you something similar.”
Forty-five minutes later, with Mr Hughes looking dapper in a very smart replacement suit, the wedding was underway. Everyone who had seen the ‘monster’ had been retconned into thinking a stray dog had caused some problems, running amok through the marquee, and that Mr Hughes suit had been ruined in the chaos, leading to delays while a replacement was acquired.
“Lovely people,” Jack said as Torchwood slipped away, nobody paying the slightest attention to them now.
“Yes,” Ianto agreed, “and I hope the rest of the wedding goes smoothly.”
“We should drink a toast when we get back to the Hub, to the two happy couples, the bride and groom, and the bride’s parents.”
“Mm,” Gwen agreed. “After today’s events, I hope the marriage will be better than the wedding.”
“Perfect weddings don’t guarantee good marriages,” Jack said. “In my experience, a few mishaps on the wedding day only serve to strengthen the bond between the newlyweds.”
Ianto gave a wry smile as he guided the SUV through the midday traffic. “In that case, Dilys and her intended have nothing to worry about. Wedded bliss is practically guaranteed.”
The End
Torchwood and weddings, Jack had pointed out while Gwen was planning hers, tended not to be a good mix, and the team weren’t even on the guest list for this one, which was fine since none of them knew the happy couple. They weren’t quite so happy at present, unfortunately; they hadn’t even made it to the bride’s grand entrance, mostly because the bride’s father, who was supposed to accompany her down the aisle, had mysteriously disappeared.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Gwen asked the bride, radiating sympathy. The young woman shook her head, apparently numb with shock, so Gwen turned to the bride’s mother. “How about you, Mrs Hughes? Do you have any idea where your husband might have gone?”
“Not really. I wasn’t with my daughter at the time, you see. I was making sure the bridesmaids were ready. It’s all very mysterious,” the other woman said. She was putting a brave face on things, but the way she was wringing her once pristine handkerchief between her hands showed she was just as shaken as her daughter. “I saw Ifor on his way over here to collect Dilys, he waved to me just as he was about to go inside the tent, but then there was a fuss with little Ceri, the flower girl, she’s only three you know, and she was having a bit of a tantrum. The next thing I knew, Dilys was screaming, and Ifor was nowhere to be found.” She turned to her daughter. “I did tell you I didn’t think an outdoor wedding was a good idea. Didn’t I say that?”
Dilys just hugged herself, shivering, tears leaking from her eyes, making her makeup run.
Ianto appeared, slipping quietly into the wedding marquee with a steaming cup in one hand, and an emergency blanket in the other. He solicitously guided Dilys into the nearest chair, wrapped the foil blanket around her shoulders, folding it carefully over the lap of her wedding dress, in case of spillage, and handed her the cup, gently folding her chilled fingers around it.
“You just drink this now,” he told her soothingly. “Sweet tea is still the best thing for shock. When you’re feeling a bit better, perhaps you’ll be able to tell me what happened.”
Dilys smiled gratefully through her tears and sipped her tea. There was a mild sedative in it, which would hopefully help her calm down enough to be intelligible. When the team had arrived on the scene, responding to a Rift alert, she’d been babbling hysterically about a horrible thing with eyes, which hadn’t been especially helpful in narrowing the possibilities. As Torchwood well knew, there were a lot of horrible things in the universe, and many of them had eyes, in varying numbers.
The rest of the team were currently outside, talking to the guests, the bridesmaids, the caterers, and the disgruntled officiant, who kept complaining that he was supposed to be officiating at another wedding in two hours, and he’d known all along it was a mistake to take on this one as well. He’d only agreed, he told anyone who’d listen, because his wife’s sister’s brother-in-law was the groom’s stepfather, and saying no to his wife was never a good idea. Not for a man who valued peace and quiet.
Peace and quiet, of course, were the kind of thing that went right out the window whenever Torchwood were involved. It wasn’t their fault, mostly, it was just that the things they dealt with were more conducive to chaos and shouting, which, as in this case, was generally already underway by the time they arrived. After they left, taking the cause of the chaos with them, things usually settled down, thanks to the judicious application of Retcon, but while Torchwood were present, it was rather important that any witnesses remembered what had happened, so that they could fill the team in on events up to that point. It saved time. Not that any of the wedding guests had been of much help so far. Most of them hadn’t seen anything, only heard a lot of screaming.
Gwen was just wondering who she should talk to next when the four ushers, hired along with the catering team, exploded back into the wedding marquee from the adjoining reception tent. Ianto turned from his quiet conversation with the bride and raised an eyebrow, not at the ushers themselves, as such, but at the undeniably horrible thing with eyes that was scuttling along right behind them.
Hearing the renewed screaming, Jack and Owen burst into the marquee through the main entrance, guns in hand, but Ianto was already taking steps to deal with the issue. Stepping smoothly between the fleeing ushers and the ‘thing’, he glared at it.
“Stop that! You’re scaring everybody!”
The thing skittered across the floor, a dozen eyestalks waving in agitation, valiantly tried to stop, and a dozen oddly jointed legs tangled together, tripping it so that with a pained yip, it fell flat on what passed for its face.
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Ianto sorted the legs out and helped the creature back onto its feet. A dozen eyes blinked up at him gratefully. Behind him, despite the sedative, Dilys gave a slightly hysterical giggle.
“It’s that thing again!” She downed the rest of her tea, dropped the cup on the floor, and burst into tears. “All I wanted was a nice wedding!” she wailed.
The thing made a distressed warbling sound.
“It’s not your fault, sir,” Ianto assured it. “Your current appearance is just… a bit alarming to most people, but I’m sure we’ll have everything fixed soon, now that we have a better idea of what we’re looking for.”
Jack holstered his Webley and ambled over. “Father of the bride?”
Ianto nodded. “It would seem so. He’s just not quite his usual self, but Tosh should be able to fix that, once we locate whatever’s responsible.” He smiled at Jack. “Could be worse. At least he’s still here, not abducted, or eaten. That would be a lot harder to deal with, and it would put a damper on the festivities. As it is… We could say everyone who saw anything was accidentally dosed with LSD. Unfortunate, but it shouldn’t be allowed to spoil the wedding.”
“That’s one possible explanation,” Jack agreed. “Guess we’d better start playing hunt the tech then. Anyone got any idea where to start?”
“He was last seen…” Gwen glanced warily at the thing, which stood beside Ianto, its eyestalks drooping. “Last seen as himself, that is, just as he was about to enter the bride’s pavilion, where she was finishing getting ready for her grand entrance. We know that he must have been like… that either when he went in, or shortly afterwards, otherwise she wouldn’t have screamed, so whatever we’re looking for must be around there.”
“Perfect!” Jack beamed. “I’ll grab Tosh and her scanners, and we’ll take a look.”
“Just be careful, and don’t touch it,” Ianto warned. “The last thing we need is more horrible things with eyes running around and causing chaos.” He glanced down at the father of the bride. “No offence, but if you could see yourself right now, you wouldn’t be too happy either. It’s not a good look.”
The monster that used to be a man gave a mournful hoot.
“Try not to worry about it. We deal with stuff like this all the time; we’ll sort you out.” Ianto turned to his colleague. “Gwen, why don’t you take Dilys somewhere and see if you can help her fix her makeup? She’ll want to be looking her best for her wedding. Just avoid the bride’s pavilion for now.” He handed Gwen a Retcon pill. “Once she’s looking better, give her another cup of tea. I’ll take care of her dad.”
Gwen nodded and ushered Dilys out.
Mrs Hughes was frowning at the thing. “That’s never Ifor! I know my husband, and he doesn’t look like…” she waved one hand “That!”
“I’m sure that’s true, let’s just say he’s suffered a rather unfortunate accident, but there’s no need to worry.”
“Urp,” the bride’s father agreed, seeming reassured by Ianto’s calm manner. Folding his legs, he sank to the floor, rather more tidily this time, looking a bit like a cross between a crab, a spider, and a broken umbrella.
Ianto nodded approvingly. “That’s right, Mr Hughes, you just relax while we sort everything out. We’ll have the wedding underway again before you know it.” He smiled at Mrs Hughes. “Your husband will be fine. This isn’t even close to the oddest situation we’ve ever dealt with.”
Mrs Hughes sat down on a convenient chair. “I’ll have to take your word for it, I suppose. I don’t even know who you people are.”
“Nobody important.”
“Just the people who deal with odd situations.”
“That’s us. Somebody has to do it.”
“I did tell Dilys that having an outdoor wedding in the middle of Cardiff was a bad idea, but she wouldn’t listen. ‘What if it rains?’ I said, ‘You’ll get your dress all muddy, and everyone will look bedraggled in the photos.’” She shook her head. “My husband getting turned into a monster never crossed my mind.”
“It’s not the kind of complication people generally consider likely. You’re taking it a lot better than most people would.”
“Tranquilizers,” Mrs Hughes said. “I have a touch of social anxiety, so for big events like this… they take the edge off. I only take one occasionally though.” She looked at her husband, who turned all twelve eyes in her direction. “I suppose it could be worse. For a while there I thought you might have run out on us, especially after our argument earlier.”
“IP!” Mr Hughes said firmly.
“Yes, well, I know that now.” She looked at Ianto again. “What will happen to him if you can’t fix him?”
“That’s something you don’t need to worry about. Our tech expert is a certified genius; she’s never failed to reverse a transformation. Not even when our boss accidentally turned himself into a starfish, and she wasn’t even in Cardiff at the time. Sorted everything out from the other side of the world.”
“A starfish?”
“Long story, and one you don’t need to hear.” Ianto turned as Jack and Tosh came back into the marquee. “Did you find it?”
“Yep!” Jack flashed his best smile. “It was under a little foldaway table beside the entrance.”
Tosh nodded. “My guess is, Mr Hughes kicked it as he entered the bride’s pavilion, triggering it and transforming himself into his present form.”
“Makes sense,” Ianto agreed. “Can you reverse it?”
“The device is pretty standard transformative technology, the kind designed to facilitate communication between different species, so it shouldn’t be a problem. Really no different to the time we all got turned into little green aliens. I should have Mr Hughes back to his usual self in about ten minutes. I Just need to make sure the settings didn’t get altered when it was kicked, then it should just be a case of operating it in reverse.”
“Will it hurt him?” Mrs Hughes asked, looking worried. “Because I wouldn’t want that. We have our fights now and then, but I do love him. He’s a good husband, and a good father. He might not be the most handsome man in the world, especially not right now, but he’s mine. Even when I joke that I’ll trade him in for a newer model if he loses any more hair, I don’t mean it. I hope he knows that.”
Mr Hughes warbled reassuringly at his wife, and she smiled fondly back at him.
“He’s always had a lovely voice. That was the first thing I noticed about him. A proper Welsh tenor, he is. Used to sing in a choir when he was younger. You know, Ifor, you should think about taking that up again, now Dilys is getting married, and Harri is off to university in a few months. I know you used to enjoy it.”
“Urp!” Mr Hughes said agreeably.
“Right,” said Tosh, “I’m ready, if Mr Hughes is. There’s just one thing I can’t guarantee.” She blushed slightly. “I don’t know if Mr Hughes will still have clothes on when he’s changed back.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Jack said easily. “Ianto is very good at procuring suitable clothing in an emergency. He has the eye of a master tailor.”
“If we’re lucky, it won’t be necessary.” Ianto stepped away from Mr Hughes, not wanting to get caught in the transformation beam.
“It might be better if you’re standing,” Tosh said, addressing Mr Hughes, who obligingly levered himself up on all twelve legs. Tosh smiled. “Alright then, just relax. This should only take a moment.” She activated the device, Mr Hughes shimmered, and then he was himself again, just with rather less clothing than was generally considered proper for a wedding anywhere other than a nudist colony.
Jack beamed. “Looking good there, Mr Hughes.”
The man in question hurriedly covered the family jewels, and Ianto rolled his eyes.
“Jack, stop ogling the bride’s father, it’s not polite.” He turned to Mr and Mrs Hughes. “Sorry about that. He thinks he’s being helpful, making people feel better about themselves, and in some cases that might be true, but now is not the time.”
Predictably, Jack pouted, but everyone ignored him.
“I can’t walk my daughter down the aisle like this,” Mr Hughes pointed out. “She’d never forgive me.”
“It does provide a good reason for the delay though,” Ianto pointed out, raking a professional gaze over Mr Hughes’ body, estimating his measurements. “A wardrobe mishap requiring Mr Hughes to replace his suit at the last minute. If you’ll tell me what you were wearing, I’ll do what I can to get you something similar.”
Forty-five minutes later, with Mr Hughes looking dapper in a very smart replacement suit, the wedding was underway. Everyone who had seen the ‘monster’ had been retconned into thinking a stray dog had caused some problems, running amok through the marquee, and that Mr Hughes suit had been ruined in the chaos, leading to delays while a replacement was acquired.
“Lovely people,” Jack said as Torchwood slipped away, nobody paying the slightest attention to them now.
“Yes,” Ianto agreed, “and I hope the rest of the wedding goes smoothly.”
“We should drink a toast when we get back to the Hub, to the two happy couples, the bride and groom, and the bride’s parents.”
“Mm,” Gwen agreed. “After today’s events, I hope the marriage will be better than the wedding.”
“Perfect weddings don’t guarantee good marriages,” Jack said. “In my experience, a few mishaps on the wedding day only serve to strengthen the bond between the newlyweds.”
Ianto gave a wry smile as he guided the SUV through the midday traffic. “In that case, Dilys and her intended have nothing to worry about. Wedded bliss is practically guaranteed.”
The End
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