Ficlet: Threats
May. 28th, 2026 05:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Threats
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Jack, D.I. Kathy Swanson.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 890
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Kathy Swanson hates Captain Harkness and his Torchwood Team. Jack just wants to keep the police from getting killed.
Written For: Weekend Challenge: Pretty Little Liars at
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1_million_words.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
They’d had this conversation before, or variations on it, Jack knew. D.I. Kathy Swanson wasn’t aware of that thanks to judicious doses of Retcon, but Captain Jack Harkness was deep in the realm of déjà vu. He was fine with that. Keeping the police in the dark about what Torchwood did was part of his job. He didn’t always do the Retconning himself, as often as not he had members of his team take care of such details, but tonight, he was taking charge, in every respect. Let Detective Inspector Swanson be annoyed with him; she would be anyway.
It was no secret that D.I. Swanson didn’t like Captain Jack Harness and the Torchwood team. She had, at least in her mind, good reason to thoroughly dislike him. He was flashy, flirty, and reckless, a loose cannon who treated Cardiff like his own private fiefdom. He got in the way of the police when they were trying to do their jobs, usurped the Heddlu’s crime scenes without so much as a by your leave, ran roughshod over her people… In short, he was a royal pain in the arse, seeming to relish annoying everyone he met.
It might not have been so bad if she could have had him kicked out of Cardiff, or better yet, the whole of Wales, let someone else deal with the problem he and his team represented, but… About the only thing anyone in the Heddlu knew for sure about Torchwood was that they were funded by the Crown, under the auspices of the Queen of England. Friends in high places, and all that. It meant there was very little Kathy, or her superiors, could do about Harkness, and to her disgust, Harkness knew it. That just gave her one more reason to hate him, as he stood in front of her with that smug grin on his face. What she wouldn’t give to punch him in the mouth! But that would tarnish her own reputation.
“This is a crime scene, Harkness!”
“Yes, it is, it just isn’t one of yours, not anymore, so if you’d be so kind as to clear all of your people out before they land themselves in more trouble than they can cope with, it’ll save me some time and effort. If you don’t, I’ll have to do it myself, and you won’t like the methods I use.”
“Did you just threaten me, Harkness?” Maybe she could get away with throwing him in a holding cell for interfering with official police business… But she’d have to allow him a phone call, and he’d be out again within a couple of hours. It wouldn’t be worth the hassle.
“I hate having to tell you this, Detective Swanson, but you wouldn’t know a threat if it sat in your lap and made you a gin and tonic!”
Kathy bristled. “Of all the male chauvinist…” That was as far as she got, because Harkness cut her off.
“I don’t like this any more than you do, and I wouldn’t be here now if this was just an ordinary, everyday crime scene, but it’s not. You’re out of your depth, Detective Swanson, and whether you believe it or not, I don’t relish the idea of your people getting themselves killed because they came up against a threat they’re neither equipped nor trained to deal with. If you value your life, and theirs, you’ll leave. My people can handle this, but not if they’re trying to protect your people at the same time.”
“My people are highly trained…”
“Not for this. They don’t even have guns!”
“You listen here, Harkness…”
“No, Detective.” The captain’s blue eyes flashed angrily, what was left of his flirtatiousness gone in an instant. “You listen. Torchwood exists for a reason; a reason you don’t have the security clearance to know. Whatever you may think of us, we don’t do this for fun. We exist to protect the people of Cardiff just as you and your people do, and you risk innocent lives every time you hamper our ability to do our job. Get your people out of here and we just might manage to salvage this situation without anyone else getting hurt or killed. Am I clear?”
“Clear as crystal, Captain Harkness,” Kathy ground out through clenched teeth. One of these days she’d give him what was coming to him, but not today, because if there was the smallest chance he could be right… She couldn’t afford to risk people’s lives just because she hated Harkness.
Turning on her heel, she stalked off, calling out to her people to grab their gear, and leave the scene to Torchwood. She didn’t look back, which was almost a shame, because if she had, she would have seen Harkness drag a weary hand across his face, shoulders sagging with relief.
Jack turned to his team. “Okay, people, get into position!”
Never mind that he was an immortal who couldn’t stay dead; he felt drained. Driving the police away from the scene was never as much fun as he pretended it was, simply because he was always painfully aware of how quickly a situation could deteriorate, potentially leading to multiple deaths. This time he’d won the battle of wills without even needing to resort to Retcon. Next time, he might not be so lucky.
The End
It was no secret that D.I. Swanson didn’t like Captain Jack Harness and the Torchwood team. She had, at least in her mind, good reason to thoroughly dislike him. He was flashy, flirty, and reckless, a loose cannon who treated Cardiff like his own private fiefdom. He got in the way of the police when they were trying to do their jobs, usurped the Heddlu’s crime scenes without so much as a by your leave, ran roughshod over her people… In short, he was a royal pain in the arse, seeming to relish annoying everyone he met.
It might not have been so bad if she could have had him kicked out of Cardiff, or better yet, the whole of Wales, let someone else deal with the problem he and his team represented, but… About the only thing anyone in the Heddlu knew for sure about Torchwood was that they were funded by the Crown, under the auspices of the Queen of England. Friends in high places, and all that. It meant there was very little Kathy, or her superiors, could do about Harkness, and to her disgust, Harkness knew it. That just gave her one more reason to hate him, as he stood in front of her with that smug grin on his face. What she wouldn’t give to punch him in the mouth! But that would tarnish her own reputation.
“This is a crime scene, Harkness!”
“Yes, it is, it just isn’t one of yours, not anymore, so if you’d be so kind as to clear all of your people out before they land themselves in more trouble than they can cope with, it’ll save me some time and effort. If you don’t, I’ll have to do it myself, and you won’t like the methods I use.”
“Did you just threaten me, Harkness?” Maybe she could get away with throwing him in a holding cell for interfering with official police business… But she’d have to allow him a phone call, and he’d be out again within a couple of hours. It wouldn’t be worth the hassle.
“I hate having to tell you this, Detective Swanson, but you wouldn’t know a threat if it sat in your lap and made you a gin and tonic!”
Kathy bristled. “Of all the male chauvinist…” That was as far as she got, because Harkness cut her off.
“I don’t like this any more than you do, and I wouldn’t be here now if this was just an ordinary, everyday crime scene, but it’s not. You’re out of your depth, Detective Swanson, and whether you believe it or not, I don’t relish the idea of your people getting themselves killed because they came up against a threat they’re neither equipped nor trained to deal with. If you value your life, and theirs, you’ll leave. My people can handle this, but not if they’re trying to protect your people at the same time.”
“My people are highly trained…”
“Not for this. They don’t even have guns!”
“You listen here, Harkness…”
“No, Detective.” The captain’s blue eyes flashed angrily, what was left of his flirtatiousness gone in an instant. “You listen. Torchwood exists for a reason; a reason you don’t have the security clearance to know. Whatever you may think of us, we don’t do this for fun. We exist to protect the people of Cardiff just as you and your people do, and you risk innocent lives every time you hamper our ability to do our job. Get your people out of here and we just might manage to salvage this situation without anyone else getting hurt or killed. Am I clear?”
“Clear as crystal, Captain Harkness,” Kathy ground out through clenched teeth. One of these days she’d give him what was coming to him, but not today, because if there was the smallest chance he could be right… She couldn’t afford to risk people’s lives just because she hated Harkness.
Turning on her heel, she stalked off, calling out to her people to grab their gear, and leave the scene to Torchwood. She didn’t look back, which was almost a shame, because if she had, she would have seen Harkness drag a weary hand across his face, shoulders sagging with relief.
Jack turned to his team. “Okay, people, get into position!”
Never mind that he was an immortal who couldn’t stay dead; he felt drained. Driving the police away from the scene was never as much fun as he pretended it was, simply because he was always painfully aware of how quickly a situation could deteriorate, potentially leading to multiple deaths. This time he’d won the battle of wills without even needing to resort to Retcon. Next time, he might not be so lucky.
The End
(no subject)
Date: 2026-05-29 10:58 pm (UTC)