Double Drabble: Flying Rats
Jun. 9th, 2026 06:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Flying Rats
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG
Written For: Challenge 921: Vermin, at
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torchwood100.Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Nothing is going to steal produce from Ianto and Jack’s garden, not if Ianto has any say in the matter.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
A/N: Double drabble.
“Pigeon pie, pigeon pie,” Ianto muttered, glaring through the kitchen window as he peeled and washed potatoes for dinner.
“What was that?” Jack straightened from the oven, where he’d been checking on how the Sunday roast was cooking.
“Pigeon pie,” his lover repeated, not looking away from the window. “That’s what those flying rats are going to be if they touch any of the fruit and vegetables we’ve got growing out there! We haven’t gone to all the effort of sowing seeds and watering plants to feed the local vermin! I’ll have them for dinner before I let them steal from us!”
“You’d have to catch them first, and aren’t woodpigeons protected or something?”
“I know the difference between woodpigeons and feral pigeons, Jack! The bloody things are nesting under our neighbours’ solar panels, attracting rats with all their mess. God knows what the roof looks like under the panels. There’s a reason most towns have a ban on feeding feral pigeons. Pigeon poop is corrosive, it causes a lot of damage, and breeding where they are, crows and magpies can’t get at their chicks.”
“Nothing we can do about it though.”
“They touch our garden, I’ll find a way!”
The End
“What was that?” Jack straightened from the oven, where he’d been checking on how the Sunday roast was cooking.
“Pigeon pie,” his lover repeated, not looking away from the window. “That’s what those flying rats are going to be if they touch any of the fruit and vegetables we’ve got growing out there! We haven’t gone to all the effort of sowing seeds and watering plants to feed the local vermin! I’ll have them for dinner before I let them steal from us!”
“You’d have to catch them first, and aren’t woodpigeons protected or something?”
“I know the difference between woodpigeons and feral pigeons, Jack! The bloody things are nesting under our neighbours’ solar panels, attracting rats with all their mess. God knows what the roof looks like under the panels. There’s a reason most towns have a ban on feeding feral pigeons. Pigeon poop is corrosive, it causes a lot of damage, and breeding where they are, crows and magpies can’t get at their chicks.”
“Nothing we can do about it though.”
“They touch our garden, I’ll find a way!”
The End
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Date: 2026-06-09 11:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2026-06-10 09:56 am (UTC)Thank you!