Ficlet: Lost Love, Lost Life
Feb. 5th, 2026 06:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Lost Love, Lost Life
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ianto, Lisa, Jack.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 993
Spoilers: Cyberwoman, End of Days, Children of Earth Fix-It.
Summary: Ianto has loved and lost more than once, and even lost his own life, but he’s never been the kind to give up easily.
Written For:
ruanchunxian’s prompt ‘any, any, the loss of my life’, at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Life seldom travelled along the expected path. There were always bumps in the road, unexpected diversions and detours, twists and turns that no one saw coming, simply because life was not predictable. The more anyone tried to plan, to plot out the future they wanted, the one they expected to have, the more things could go wrong.
Ianto had thought he had everything, and that he knew what lay ahead. He’d done what he’d set out to do when he’d left the council estate; he’d reinvented himself, found a really good job, met an incredible woman, and fallen in love…
Everything had seemed to be falling into place; he’d known Lisa was the one, had already started looking at engagement rings. His life was as perfect as he could have hoped for. But then the Cybermen and Daleks had turned Torchwood Tower into a battleground, and he’d found his beautiful Lisa strapped to a conversion unit, half of her body encased in metal, and… That had been the beginning of the end for her, and for them. Over the following months, he’d done everything he could to help her, but it had all been for nothing, because there hadn’t been enough of Lisa left to save. Somewhere along the way, without him even noticing, the cyber-consciousness had taken control. His new colleagues had had no choice but to do what he couldn’t have done himself, eliminating the threat she embodied.
When it had happened, when they’d ended her existence in a hail of bullets, fired into a body that wasn’t even hers, Ianto had been certain that would be the end of him. He couldn’t imagine anything worse ever happening to him. She’d been his whole world, the love of his young life, and he’d foolishly dared to hope that they might spend the rest of their lives together, get married, raise a family, grow old, and still have each other to lean on and laugh with as they entered their twilight years, watching their grandchildren grow.
His failure, and the loss of not only the woman he’d loved but the life he’d planned, had shattered him, but not beyond repair, because Jack had taken his broken pieces and put him back together again. Even though Ianto had been sure he could never love anyone as much as he’d loved Lisa, he’d discovered he was wrong; as much as he’d loved her, Jack had shown him something deeper, richer, than anything he’d felt before. He’d opened Ianto’s eyes as well as his heart, and looking back, Ianto had sometimes wondered if he’d merely been infatuated with Lisa, flattered by the attention of such a beautiful woman… She’d been his first real love, but maybe it had never been meant to last.
With Jack, everything was different, and not simply because he was a man. There were times Ianto felt more like Jack’s keeper than his lover, trying to rein him in and keep him from doing anything stupid, but Jack had such a zest for life. He was a lot like Lisa in that respect, and he did everything he could to make Ianto take himself less seriously. From feeling like he’d lost everything that made life worth living, Ianto had come to feel more alive than he ever had. But then Jack had died, sacrificing himself to fix the team’s stupid mistake, and once again, Ianto had been crushed under the weight of loss.
He’d dared to hope again when, three days later, Jack had revived, greeting him with a hug and a kiss in front of the team, and yet before the dust had even settled, Jack was gone again, run off with the Doctor, not to be seen again for three long months. When he’d finally come back, Ianto had been hesitant about resuming their relationship, reluctant to open himself up to being hurt again, however unintentionally. But Jack wasn’t an easy man to say no to, and it was even better this time around, despite most of their dates getting interrupted by Weevils, or the Rift, or invading aliens; that was life with Torchwood.
Only now, lying on the floor in Thames House, struggling to breathe as a deadly alien virus ravages his body, Ianto knows this will result in the loss of his own life, and it hurts more than anything ever has. It’s worse than losing Lisa, worse even than losing Jack, because he knows he’ll be leaving Jack behind, alone, with no one to take care of him, no one to comfort him when he wakes from his own temporary death.
He tries to tell Jack how he feels, wishes he could say more, but the words won’t come. He doesn’t have enough breath left, he’s slipping away, inch by inch, and he wants more than anything to stay, because Jack needs him, and they didn’t have long enough. Forever wouldn’t have been long enough. It shouldn’t be over so soon, not like this, and…
Jack is gone. Ianto doesn’t know where, just that he isn’t on earth any longer. He was for a while, or so Gwen said when he spoke to her briefly, after convincing her that he really was Ianto, and not an imposter, but then he’d left. Now what is Ianto to do? He’s lost two lovers, lost his own life, and now he’s lost everything, because according to the public records, he no longer exists. He died at Thames House, along with over a hundred other people. But what’s one more loss on top of all the others? He isn’t tied to earth anymore; there’s no place left for him here. He can go anywhere, he just needs a ride, so he calls Martha, asks her to reach out to the Doctor.
Jack is out there somewhere in the universe, grieving all the losses of his own life, so Ianto will just have to go out there too, and find him.
The End
Ianto had thought he had everything, and that he knew what lay ahead. He’d done what he’d set out to do when he’d left the council estate; he’d reinvented himself, found a really good job, met an incredible woman, and fallen in love…
Everything had seemed to be falling into place; he’d known Lisa was the one, had already started looking at engagement rings. His life was as perfect as he could have hoped for. But then the Cybermen and Daleks had turned Torchwood Tower into a battleground, and he’d found his beautiful Lisa strapped to a conversion unit, half of her body encased in metal, and… That had been the beginning of the end for her, and for them. Over the following months, he’d done everything he could to help her, but it had all been for nothing, because there hadn’t been enough of Lisa left to save. Somewhere along the way, without him even noticing, the cyber-consciousness had taken control. His new colleagues had had no choice but to do what he couldn’t have done himself, eliminating the threat she embodied.
When it had happened, when they’d ended her existence in a hail of bullets, fired into a body that wasn’t even hers, Ianto had been certain that would be the end of him. He couldn’t imagine anything worse ever happening to him. She’d been his whole world, the love of his young life, and he’d foolishly dared to hope that they might spend the rest of their lives together, get married, raise a family, grow old, and still have each other to lean on and laugh with as they entered their twilight years, watching their grandchildren grow.
His failure, and the loss of not only the woman he’d loved but the life he’d planned, had shattered him, but not beyond repair, because Jack had taken his broken pieces and put him back together again. Even though Ianto had been sure he could never love anyone as much as he’d loved Lisa, he’d discovered he was wrong; as much as he’d loved her, Jack had shown him something deeper, richer, than anything he’d felt before. He’d opened Ianto’s eyes as well as his heart, and looking back, Ianto had sometimes wondered if he’d merely been infatuated with Lisa, flattered by the attention of such a beautiful woman… She’d been his first real love, but maybe it had never been meant to last.
With Jack, everything was different, and not simply because he was a man. There were times Ianto felt more like Jack’s keeper than his lover, trying to rein him in and keep him from doing anything stupid, but Jack had such a zest for life. He was a lot like Lisa in that respect, and he did everything he could to make Ianto take himself less seriously. From feeling like he’d lost everything that made life worth living, Ianto had come to feel more alive than he ever had. But then Jack had died, sacrificing himself to fix the team’s stupid mistake, and once again, Ianto had been crushed under the weight of loss.
He’d dared to hope again when, three days later, Jack had revived, greeting him with a hug and a kiss in front of the team, and yet before the dust had even settled, Jack was gone again, run off with the Doctor, not to be seen again for three long months. When he’d finally come back, Ianto had been hesitant about resuming their relationship, reluctant to open himself up to being hurt again, however unintentionally. But Jack wasn’t an easy man to say no to, and it was even better this time around, despite most of their dates getting interrupted by Weevils, or the Rift, or invading aliens; that was life with Torchwood.
Only now, lying on the floor in Thames House, struggling to breathe as a deadly alien virus ravages his body, Ianto knows this will result in the loss of his own life, and it hurts more than anything ever has. It’s worse than losing Lisa, worse even than losing Jack, because he knows he’ll be leaving Jack behind, alone, with no one to take care of him, no one to comfort him when he wakes from his own temporary death.
He tries to tell Jack how he feels, wishes he could say more, but the words won’t come. He doesn’t have enough breath left, he’s slipping away, inch by inch, and he wants more than anything to stay, because Jack needs him, and they didn’t have long enough. Forever wouldn’t have been long enough. It shouldn’t be over so soon, not like this, and…
Jack is gone. Ianto doesn’t know where, just that he isn’t on earth any longer. He was for a while, or so Gwen said when he spoke to her briefly, after convincing her that he really was Ianto, and not an imposter, but then he’d left. Now what is Ianto to do? He’s lost two lovers, lost his own life, and now he’s lost everything, because according to the public records, he no longer exists. He died at Thames House, along with over a hundred other people. But what’s one more loss on top of all the others? He isn’t tied to earth anymore; there’s no place left for him here. He can go anywhere, he just needs a ride, so he calls Martha, asks her to reach out to the Doctor.
Jack is out there somewhere in the universe, grieving all the losses of his own life, so Ianto will just have to go out there too, and find him.
The End
(no subject)
Date: 2026-02-06 12:34 am (UTC)