Ficlet: Sensible Precaution
Mar. 19th, 2026 06:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Sensible Precaution
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Ianto, Jack.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 567
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Ianto feels the need to set a few ground rules before he and Jack get down to the evening’s activities.
Written For: The prompt ‘any, any, bite’, at
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threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters
A/N: A sort of prequel to my fic ‘Jack’s Bunny Bother’.
Normally it wouldn’t have bothered Ianto in the slightest, in fact at moments such as this, when they were alone in the Hub, or at Ianto’s house, he rather enjoyed having Jack nibble on various parts of his anatomy. It added some spice without being too avantgarde for a regular evening’s entertainment. Tonight, however, that little indulgence was firmly off the table, or desk, wall, floor, or bed, assuming, they even managed to get that far, because… Well, let’s just say current circumstances made any kind of biting, nipping, or nibbling inadvisable. Torchwood being the kind of place it was, sometimes it was best to err on the side of caution.
“No teeth tonight, Jack. I mean it,” he said firmly, catching Jack’s pout. “You were infected when Andy bit you while in his rabbit form. You turned into a rabbit yourself, and I know you’re human again now, we wouldn’t be doing this at all if you weren’t, but I still don’t think we should take unnecessary chances. One were-rabbit on the team is one too many. It caused havoc last month. I had to lock you in a cell for three nights, so you wouldn’t go bouncing off to God knows where.”
“I know, and that was so boring! I didn’t even get to enjoy being a rabbit! Just shoved into a cell with water and a few carrots, and left alone, like a neglected pet.”
“It was for your own good, and it was only while the moon was up. What if you’d escaped and been eaten by a fox or something? There was no knowing if you were immortal in rabbit form or not. Anyway, I have no intention of experiencing rabbithood myself, so no teeth, not in any way, just in case.”
“I can’t believe we’re arguing about this when we could be having sex!” Jack protested. “I’ve died since the last full moon, gone back to factory settings, which means no more were-rabbit! Besides, didn’t Andy say people could only be infected if he bit them when he was a rabbit? Look at me! No fur, no long ears, no cute little fluffy tail, no rabbitness in any way, shape, or form.”
“That’s not what Andy said. He told me the infection can only be passed on by biting during the three nights of the full moon, whether he’s shifted to rabbit form or not. The full moon was last night, tonight it’s still almost full, so if there’s still even the smallest trace of infection left in you, I could be turned, and I don’t have the handy ability to cure myself by dying that you’ve got. I’d be a rabbit three nights a month for the rest of my life!
“I don’t want that any more than you do,” Jack insisted. “You’d make a cute bunny, but I prefer you Ianto-shaped, you’re a lot more fun that way.”
“Then we’re agreed; no teeth.”
“Fine. No biting, no nipping, no nibbling. Am I still allowed to kiss you?”
“Kissing should be okay, but nothing that could draw blood, because I swear if you accidentally turn me into a were-rabbit, I will bite you where you really won’t want to be bitten, and you know how sharp rabbit teeth are!”
Jack looked worried. “I’m not sure I even want to have sex now.”
Ianto rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s a first.”
The End
“No teeth tonight, Jack. I mean it,” he said firmly, catching Jack’s pout. “You were infected when Andy bit you while in his rabbit form. You turned into a rabbit yourself, and I know you’re human again now, we wouldn’t be doing this at all if you weren’t, but I still don’t think we should take unnecessary chances. One were-rabbit on the team is one too many. It caused havoc last month. I had to lock you in a cell for three nights, so you wouldn’t go bouncing off to God knows where.”
“I know, and that was so boring! I didn’t even get to enjoy being a rabbit! Just shoved into a cell with water and a few carrots, and left alone, like a neglected pet.”
“It was for your own good, and it was only while the moon was up. What if you’d escaped and been eaten by a fox or something? There was no knowing if you were immortal in rabbit form or not. Anyway, I have no intention of experiencing rabbithood myself, so no teeth, not in any way, just in case.”
“I can’t believe we’re arguing about this when we could be having sex!” Jack protested. “I’ve died since the last full moon, gone back to factory settings, which means no more were-rabbit! Besides, didn’t Andy say people could only be infected if he bit them when he was a rabbit? Look at me! No fur, no long ears, no cute little fluffy tail, no rabbitness in any way, shape, or form.”
“That’s not what Andy said. He told me the infection can only be passed on by biting during the three nights of the full moon, whether he’s shifted to rabbit form or not. The full moon was last night, tonight it’s still almost full, so if there’s still even the smallest trace of infection left in you, I could be turned, and I don’t have the handy ability to cure myself by dying that you’ve got. I’d be a rabbit three nights a month for the rest of my life!
“I don’t want that any more than you do,” Jack insisted. “You’d make a cute bunny, but I prefer you Ianto-shaped, you’re a lot more fun that way.”
“Then we’re agreed; no teeth.”
“Fine. No biting, no nipping, no nibbling. Am I still allowed to kiss you?”
“Kissing should be okay, but nothing that could draw blood, because I swear if you accidentally turn me into a were-rabbit, I will bite you where you really won’t want to be bitten, and you know how sharp rabbit teeth are!”
Jack looked worried. “I’m not sure I even want to have sex now.”
Ianto rolled his eyes. “Well, that’s a first.”
The End
