BtVS Ficlet: Hurts To Say Goodbye
Aug. 4th, 2025 06:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Hurts To Say Goodbye
Fandom: BtVS
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Angel, Buffy.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Seasons two and three.
Summary: Angel knows he can’t stay with Buffy; he has to accept that they can’t be together any longer.
Word Count: 513
Written For:
tofeelnew’s prompt ‘any, any, but if you call, i'll come to you,’ at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own BTVS, or the characters.
Fate was cruel, which should have come as no surprise to the only vampire to have regained his human soul. Still, he had foolishly dared to hope that he could have some happiness in his otherwise bleak existence, that perhaps he’d done enough on the side of good to merit a reward, even if he didn’t honestly believe he deserved one.
Having Buffy in his life, spending time with her and her friends, had made him begin to feel like a person, someone of worth, someone who mattered, even if only to a few individuals. It had been wonderful while it lasted, but he’d become complacent, had perhaps come to believe himself part of the human world once more instead of only existing on the periphery, and… It had cost him his soul, and even though he had it back again now, nothing had been the same since that fateful night.
He’d committed too many acts of evil while soulless to ever regain the trust of the people he had at one time begun to consider his friends. Worse, he knew that being around Buffy for any length of time would only torture both of them with wanting what they could never have again. Any dream of a lasting relationship between them was long gone, and reality had finally set in, for Angel if not for Buffy.
Leaving her was the one thing Angel never wanted to do, which made the fact that it was the one thing he absolutely HAD to do that much more depressing, especially when he had to witness the utter devastation on Buffy’s face, however hard she tried not to let it show.
It was useless telling her he didn’t WANT to go, she already knew that, and it was equally useless explaining, again, why things had to be this way. She knew that too, understood the facts as well as he did, was aware that forever had never been in the cards for them, but that didn’t make his leaving hurt her any less, just as it didn’t hurt him any less, because he was breaking both their hearts, and yet…
“Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean you’ll never see me again,” he promised. “You have to know that, Buffy. Whenever you need me, all you have to do is call and I’ll be here, no matter what.”
And he would be, because even if they couldn’t have the happy ever after they both longed for, at least he could do his best to keep her safe. That had been why Whistler had sought him out in the first place, to be Buffy’s champion and to help her. Falling in love with her hadn’t been part of the plan, but even now that he was leaving, he couldn’t regret doing so. Regret breaking her heart, yes, but never regret loving her. Despite the pain, she was still the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he knew he would love her to the end of his existence. No one could take that away from him.
The End
Having Buffy in his life, spending time with her and her friends, had made him begin to feel like a person, someone of worth, someone who mattered, even if only to a few individuals. It had been wonderful while it lasted, but he’d become complacent, had perhaps come to believe himself part of the human world once more instead of only existing on the periphery, and… It had cost him his soul, and even though he had it back again now, nothing had been the same since that fateful night.
He’d committed too many acts of evil while soulless to ever regain the trust of the people he had at one time begun to consider his friends. Worse, he knew that being around Buffy for any length of time would only torture both of them with wanting what they could never have again. Any dream of a lasting relationship between them was long gone, and reality had finally set in, for Angel if not for Buffy.
Leaving her was the one thing Angel never wanted to do, which made the fact that it was the one thing he absolutely HAD to do that much more depressing, especially when he had to witness the utter devastation on Buffy’s face, however hard she tried not to let it show.
It was useless telling her he didn’t WANT to go, she already knew that, and it was equally useless explaining, again, why things had to be this way. She knew that too, understood the facts as well as he did, was aware that forever had never been in the cards for them, but that didn’t make his leaving hurt her any less, just as it didn’t hurt him any less, because he was breaking both their hearts, and yet…
“Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean you’ll never see me again,” he promised. “You have to know that, Buffy. Whenever you need me, all you have to do is call and I’ll be here, no matter what.”
And he would be, because even if they couldn’t have the happy ever after they both longed for, at least he could do his best to keep her safe. That had been why Whistler had sought him out in the first place, to be Buffy’s champion and to help her. Falling in love with her hadn’t been part of the plan, but even now that he was leaving, he couldn’t regret doing so. Regret breaking her heart, yes, but never regret loving her. Despite the pain, she was still the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he knew he would love her to the end of his existence. No one could take that away from him.
The End
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Date: 2025-08-06 10:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2025-08-07 09:52 am (UTC)I have written some happier stuff for them though, making Angel alive again and getting them back together. Just haven't posted them yet.
Thank you!