Stargate SG-1 Ficlet: When In Rome
Feb. 6th, 2026 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: When In Rome
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Daniel, Jack, Teal’c, Sam.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 519
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Sometimes it’s necessary to embrace the local customs in order to win people’s trust.]
Written For:
thatspacebird’s prompt ‘any, any, baths’, at ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own Stargate SG-1, or the characters.
Alien planets might not always LOOK alien, but that didn’t mean the cultures that inhabited them were anything like the members of SG-1 were used to, with the possible exception of Daniel, who quite possibly knew about every culture that had ever existed on earth. The benefits of being an archaeologist and anthropologist, O’Neill supposed. It made him adaptable, and mostly unfazed by whatever strange customs they encountered. Daniel took it all in stride, while Jack… didn’t.
“Apparently, bathing together is a communal thing,” Daniel was saying, all innocence, as if this was perfectly normal. Which, perhaps for these people, it was. “Especially during any kind of negotiations. They claim it builds trust, probably because no one can hide anything…” He shook his head, “Hide any weapons, I mean.”
“I can see that,” Jack agreed, still fully dressed, not to mention armed, looking at Daniel, who was neither, but was at least up to his chest in the gently steaming water of the bathing pool. “And we’re supposed to just… strip and get in there with… everyone?”
“Yes. It you want the negotiations to progress. These people are willing to trade with us, and how often does that happen? They do have some interesting technology earth might find very useful, and then there are the medicines…” Daniel trailed off, looking at Jack expectantly.
“In there,” Jack repeated.
Daniel nodded.
“All of us?”
“Yes. Or just you, if you prefer, because I explained to them that you’re our Hettar, translates to something like leader, or headman. But if Sam and Teal’c aren’t going to be part of the negotiations, they’ll have to go back through the gate until the talks are concluded.”
Jack hesitated; he was torn. He didn’t particularly want the team split up, but this wasn’t a decision he could make for the other two members of SG-1. He turned to look at them. “What’s it to be, kids? Stay and get naked, or spare everyone’s blushes?”
“I will stay,” Teal’c stated calmly, beginning to disrobe. “I wish to be part of the negotiations.”
“Okay. Carter?”
“Seems a bit silly for one of us to go back to earth if the rest are staying. I’m in, if you’d just turn your backs UNTIL I’m in.”
“I can do that,” Jack replied, unclipping his P90 and setting it down. “Gonna be a bit busy here myself.” He stripped off his TAC vest, laying it on top of his gun. “So, Daniel, how’s the water?”
“Pleasantly warm,” Daniel replied, smiling. “Very relaxing.”
“Yeah, well don’t get too relaxed, can’t have you promising these people things we can’t deliver.”
“No chance of that, my mind’s never been clearer. Must be something in the water.”
Jack was already halfway in. “Now you tell me? We’re being drugged?”
“No…” Daniel considered the issue. “I wouldn’t say drugged, more… refreshed. Calm, but alert. Trust me, it’s fine.”
“You’d better be right about this.” Jack slid the rest of the way into the water, glancing around to make sure Sam and Teal’c were already there. “Okay, now everyone’s present and correct, let’s negotiate, shall we?”
The End
“Apparently, bathing together is a communal thing,” Daniel was saying, all innocence, as if this was perfectly normal. Which, perhaps for these people, it was. “Especially during any kind of negotiations. They claim it builds trust, probably because no one can hide anything…” He shook his head, “Hide any weapons, I mean.”
“I can see that,” Jack agreed, still fully dressed, not to mention armed, looking at Daniel, who was neither, but was at least up to his chest in the gently steaming water of the bathing pool. “And we’re supposed to just… strip and get in there with… everyone?”
“Yes. It you want the negotiations to progress. These people are willing to trade with us, and how often does that happen? They do have some interesting technology earth might find very useful, and then there are the medicines…” Daniel trailed off, looking at Jack expectantly.
“In there,” Jack repeated.
Daniel nodded.
“All of us?”
“Yes. Or just you, if you prefer, because I explained to them that you’re our Hettar, translates to something like leader, or headman. But if Sam and Teal’c aren’t going to be part of the negotiations, they’ll have to go back through the gate until the talks are concluded.”
Jack hesitated; he was torn. He didn’t particularly want the team split up, but this wasn’t a decision he could make for the other two members of SG-1. He turned to look at them. “What’s it to be, kids? Stay and get naked, or spare everyone’s blushes?”
“I will stay,” Teal’c stated calmly, beginning to disrobe. “I wish to be part of the negotiations.”
“Okay. Carter?”
“Seems a bit silly for one of us to go back to earth if the rest are staying. I’m in, if you’d just turn your backs UNTIL I’m in.”
“I can do that,” Jack replied, unclipping his P90 and setting it down. “Gonna be a bit busy here myself.” He stripped off his TAC vest, laying it on top of his gun. “So, Daniel, how’s the water?”
“Pleasantly warm,” Daniel replied, smiling. “Very relaxing.”
“Yeah, well don’t get too relaxed, can’t have you promising these people things we can’t deliver.”
“No chance of that, my mind’s never been clearer. Must be something in the water.”
Jack was already halfway in. “Now you tell me? We’re being drugged?”
“No…” Daniel considered the issue. “I wouldn’t say drugged, more… refreshed. Calm, but alert. Trust me, it’s fine.”
“You’d better be right about this.” Jack slid the rest of the way into the water, glancing around to make sure Sam and Teal’c were already there. “Okay, now everyone’s present and correct, let’s negotiate, shall we?”
The End
