Ficlet: Wanting To Be Noticed
Mar. 6th, 2026 06:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
badly_knittedTitle: Wanting To Be Noticed
Fandom: Torchwood
Author:
badly_knittedCharacters: Tosh, Owen, Gwen.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 578
Spoilers: Nothing too specific.
Summary: Tosh wishes she could be sexier and more outgoing.
Written For: The prompt ‘Any, any, If only…,’ at
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threesentenceficathon.Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Tosh has never had a lot of luck with men, or with boys when she was younger, and she knows part of that was probably her own fault because she’d been more concerned with doing well at school, and then college, than with socialising. It wasn’t that she’d never had dates, there had been boys, although none had stuck around for long, unwilling to compete for her attention with her studies, saying she was more interested in her books than she was in them.
Perhaps that had even been true, because her books made more sense to her than people did, but now that she’s older, she’s starting to regret no putting as much effort into dating as she’d put into her school and college classes, because she feels like she missed out on a vital part of growing up. All the flirting and dating etiquette that should probably be second nature by her age just goes right over her head. She feels awkward and clumsy when men try to chat her up, and as for making the first move herself… she doesn’t even know where to begin. Why would anyone be interested in a woman who can’t flirt?
If only, she thinks wistfully. If only she hadn’t wasted every chance when she’d been in college. There’d been so many parties she could have gone to, but hadn’t because her assignments had seemed more important. Now she wishes she could be more like Gwen: outgoing, confident, boldly provocative, showing off her body without the slightest embarrassment, drawing attention to her curves with tight, low-cut tops and tighter trousers, flirting effortlessly…
But instead, Tosh is simply herself; not shy, but quiet, reserved, perhaps even introverted. She’s more comfortable communicating with technology than people, because machines speak a language she gets, and too much of the time people don’t. Computer code makes sense, while body language might as well be some undiscovered alien dialect for all the good it does her.
She really shouldn’t be surprised that Owen is sleeping with Gwen now, just like he used to sleep with Suzie, because they’re his type and she isn’t. Even when she tries to dress up nice, he looks straight past her, unless he needs something from her, and even then, she doesn’t think he really SEES her, at least not as a person, someone with thoughts and feelings. She’s just like part of the furniture to him, no different than the medical equipment and devices he uses. He pays more attention to his microscope than he does to her, and she sometimes wonders why she even still tries to get him to notice her.
He'll never see her as attractive, or desirable; she’s not even sure he registers that she’s a woman. And really, it shouldn’t matter to her what he thinks of her, because he’s rude, and selfish, and petty, and mean. He drinks too much, uses language that makes her blush, sleeps with any woman who’ll have him, except for her, and when he’s not playing video games, he’s watching porn when he should be working. She shouldn’t want him, but she still does, which just proves what a hopeless case she is.
Maybe she only wants him because she knows she’ll never have him. Is she really that pathetic that she’d set her heart on the unattainable just to avoid having to try and date someone? She’s not sure she wants to know the answer to that.
The End
Perhaps that had even been true, because her books made more sense to her than people did, but now that she’s older, she’s starting to regret no putting as much effort into dating as she’d put into her school and college classes, because she feels like she missed out on a vital part of growing up. All the flirting and dating etiquette that should probably be second nature by her age just goes right over her head. She feels awkward and clumsy when men try to chat her up, and as for making the first move herself… she doesn’t even know where to begin. Why would anyone be interested in a woman who can’t flirt?
If only, she thinks wistfully. If only she hadn’t wasted every chance when she’d been in college. There’d been so many parties she could have gone to, but hadn’t because her assignments had seemed more important. Now she wishes she could be more like Gwen: outgoing, confident, boldly provocative, showing off her body without the slightest embarrassment, drawing attention to her curves with tight, low-cut tops and tighter trousers, flirting effortlessly…
But instead, Tosh is simply herself; not shy, but quiet, reserved, perhaps even introverted. She’s more comfortable communicating with technology than people, because machines speak a language she gets, and too much of the time people don’t. Computer code makes sense, while body language might as well be some undiscovered alien dialect for all the good it does her.
She really shouldn’t be surprised that Owen is sleeping with Gwen now, just like he used to sleep with Suzie, because they’re his type and she isn’t. Even when she tries to dress up nice, he looks straight past her, unless he needs something from her, and even then, she doesn’t think he really SEES her, at least not as a person, someone with thoughts and feelings. She’s just like part of the furniture to him, no different than the medical equipment and devices he uses. He pays more attention to his microscope than he does to her, and she sometimes wonders why she even still tries to get him to notice her.
He'll never see her as attractive, or desirable; she’s not even sure he registers that she’s a woman. And really, it shouldn’t matter to her what he thinks of her, because he’s rude, and selfish, and petty, and mean. He drinks too much, uses language that makes her blush, sleeps with any woman who’ll have him, except for her, and when he’s not playing video games, he’s watching porn when he should be working. She shouldn’t want him, but she still does, which just proves what a hopeless case she is.
Maybe she only wants him because she knows she’ll never have him. Is she really that pathetic that she’d set her heart on the unattainable just to avoid having to try and date someone? She’s not sure she wants to know the answer to that.
The End
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Date: 2026-03-07 12:35 am (UTC)